Cement
by BeautyIsHerName
Summary: Clare finds a broken, battered Eli in the night. Will he let her uncover his secrets? Will he finally find the happiness he has been searching for? Read and Review...I DO NOT own Degrassi.
1. Perfect Situation

**Perfect Situation**

**Chapter 1**

**…..**

Blinding lights….blurry vision…Eli could only focus on this as he walked the dark silent streets at night. Alone…no one could help him or understand. All he knew was that he had to keep fighting to stay away…get away.

To get away from the drunkard Tom...his foster dad. Degrading Eli was his main goal. He wanted to break him down…take everything he had. Tom wanted to destroy any relationship he had with people.

Limping on the sidewalk, he slowly breathed. In….out….in….out. He felt the bruise on his stomach worsen. Clenching himself, he winced. He prayed to God that he would save him…Yes…to God.

God was not there for him as he watched his mother get raped by "clients" When he was 5 years old. God was not there when He took her from him. He watched her slowly die as she was on the respirators. The pain she must had suffered. He couldn't live it down, even to this day. God wasn't there when his dad abandoned him 3 years later. Perhaps if he asked God to take him away from this world, his wish would be granted.

Tears of agony flowed. Why didn't he stop them from hurting her? Why is he constantly fighting against other people? Why does he keep bouncing from one home to the next?

Wearing all black, he kept walking…limping. Maybe he chose to wear this because he wanted cars to hit him. He wanted to be a stranger to the world. He had not impacted anyone's life.

Dizziness erupted in his mind. Trying to brace himself, he fell…hard. This was good. He was not in pain anymore. Maybe God fulfilled his wish.

….

Clare wondered in the bathroom as she gathered gauze pads, peroxide, and bandages for the peculiar teen on her living-room sofa. Lying there…dead to world…she couldn't ignore his distress. Something about him told her he needed someone.

She knew it was crazy, taking in a stranger…as many missing girls and homicides these days. But, something told her that he wouldn't hurt her. Setting the supplies on the coffee table, she went to the kitchen to get some ice for his wounds.

Her mom would freak out if she saw this. But her mother knew that her daughter had a kind, giving heart.

Putting the ice in a zip lock, she heard the dark-haired boy grunt.

Sitting up from the couch, Eli waited for his eyes to adjust as he examined his surroundings. This was not home. Not that he knew the true meaning of home, but he knew this didn't belong to him.

Clare said nothing. She didn't know how awkward it would be when he woke up. Giving him the ice, she spoke.

"Hi…you must have had a bad night." She said. Eli just stared at the girl. Who was she? Why was she helping him? She was either a saint or crazy.

Eli nodded as he accepted the ice. Cautious of the blue eyed red head as she got up to make him some tea.

He didn't say anything, but she couldn't blame him. He did not know her. She did not know him.

"Here…take this. It should relax you." Eli looked at her hard. "Don't worry. It's not drugged…just tea." She sipped from the cup to gain his trust. Taking it from her hand he drank it.

"I hope you don't mind, I hung your jacket up and I cleaned up your wounds." Eli was still trying to grasp the concept of this. Why would one girl waste her time dragging a stranger home to bandage him?

"Can I get a name?" She asked. "My name is Clare." He decided to answer her since she did go out of her way for him.

"Eli." He said.

"Well Eli you are welcome to stay here for the night. My mom is working overtime at the hospital." Without saying a word, Eli laid back down on the couch, closing his eyes.

He better take advantage of this. For this was the quietest night he had in a while.

…

Alli walked in the house, thankful Ms. Edwards was working late. She was so distraught; she didn't notice the stranger on the couch. Running to her bathroom, turned on the hot water.

She wanted to cleanse herself of shame. Looking in the mirror, she hated what she saw. She hated what she allowed herself to become.

Sex was supposed to be beautiful, sacred between two people. Then why did she feel used? Why did she feel like an object…a toy for amusement?

Crying she replayed the past relationships in her head. All the verbal abuse…physical abuse she withstood. All the abuse she hid and denied.

It was times like these where she wished her mother, father, and brother were here. But they were gone…and they weren't coming back. They left her. How could they do that to her?

That's why she clings to things in the present because they could be gone in the future. She clung because she had nothing left.

Clare was her best friend, but she didn't want to be a burden to her. He and her mother offered their home to her without question. They gave her the support and love she needed…yet…it was not enough.

Intimacy…boyfriends…..that's what she needed to dull the pain…the emptiness of life as she knew it. Walking in the hot shower she hoped the water would burn away her troubles.

…

Adam lay in bed praying that Eli was safe. He wanted to search for him, but he was scared. Scared of the drunken Tom. He didn't have the courage to fight back like Eli. He didn't have the strength.

Him and Eli were only foster brothers for 2 years, but they were the only family they knew. They understood each other, then they didn't. But that was alright because at the end of the day all they had were each other.

_Flashback_

_Tom stood at the door looking at the two boys as he gulped liquor down his throat. Adam grew scared. He didn't want to go through this again. That's why the system took him away from his biological parents. _

_Eli stood headstrong. He was not going to be beaten again out of drunken fury. He was not going to be used to make Tom feel stronger about himself. They shouldn't have ever let their guard down. They were usually careful…always moving a drawer infront of the door to guard them._

"_Tom, what do you want." Eli stood up._

"_Nothing."Tom burped. "Just came to tell my favorite sons "hi."_

"_That's good….hi…bye." Eli said._

"_You don't rush me boy." Tom said liquor on his breath. "You respect me." Eli ducked his punch punching Tom in the jaw._

"_Please just leave." Adam said._

"_You don't tell me to leave my own house." He said drunkenly, aggressively as he staggered towards Adam. Eli wasn't going to allow that to happen._

_As Eli kicked him, Tom turned around and kicked him between the legs._

"_That ought to teach you two what happens when you mess with me." He walked outside._

"_Eli, are you ok?" Adam asked._

"_What do you think?" Eli tried to hold his breath._

…

Adam closed his eyes, wishing he was strong enough.


	2. Tears Dry On Their Own

**Tears Dry on Their Own**

**Chapter 2**

…

"Eli, I'm so glad you're alright." Adam listened to his story as they walked to their new school.

"….Me too." Eli answered hesitantly. He kind of felt guilty since he left early in the morning. He didn't thank Clare, but it wasn't like he was going to see her again. Good people like that are rare to find.

Noticing Adam's solemn face, he felt even guiltier. He didn't mean to make him worry so much. He always had the habit of being cantankerous and unpredictable. He loved Adam as a brother. He never meant to hurt him.

"Adam what's wrong."

"…." Adam kept walking but finally answered. "I should have done something…to defend you…but I didn't. I let him hurt you again. You should be mad at me. I'm so weak." Adam kicked the pebble on the sidewalk.

"No…you're not. Adam I did it for both of us…remember, you are only a guy between the ears. I don't want to think what he would do to you if…" He didn't complete the sentence as he swallowed.

"Don't blame yourself. Just make the most out of an impossible situation." Eli said as they arrived at the school.

It was up to their expectations. They saw the jocks, cheerleaders, nerds, and band geeks. Where did they belong…they were the freaks.

As Adam opened his backpack to check his schedule, someone accidently bumped into him…his mistake.

"Watch wear you're going." The pristine girl spilled tea on her couture dress.

"You bumped into me." Adam said. Eli just watched, letting his brother fight his own battle.

"Just like a sophomore…" The girl shook her head condescendingly referencing to his shirt color.

"Welcome to Degrassi." Eli smirked to Adam as the girl walked off.

….

As Alli walked to her locker, she meditated about last night. He didn't rape her, he never did…but she felt pressure…pressure to be loved and accepted by him because no one else would want her.

Opening her locker, she put her books in her bag.

"Hey babe" Drew met her there leaning on the locker beside her. "Last night was incredible." He smiled smugly.

"Yeah. I know." Alli grabbed her dance uniform dropping her water bottle. Drew reached for it noticing the collage of photos in her locker.

"O…it's just my role models…Frieda Pinto, Gabrielle Union, Adrienna Lima…" She said.

"I see why. They're hot…with rocking bodies." Alli only nodded. She knew it was true. For the longest, she was insecure about her weight. Being on the dance team had its pros and cons. One con was staying fit.

"Please no more talk about "rocking bodies." Bianca is already getting on my case about it." She rolled her eyes thinking about the dance captain. Not everyone could be pencil thin with perfect figures.

"…..She kind of does Alli….she does have a good point about it." Drew recovered. "I mean if you do want to be a performer you have to have the talent and body. Do you want it?"

Alli couldn't believe he asked her that. She wanted to be a dancer ever since she could walk. She remembered how her mother and father would devote themselves to her passion…going to millions of rehearsals and performances.

"How could you ask me a question like that?" Alli slammed her locker, bring attention to the couple as people watched her storm off."

"Trouble in paradise." Bianca flirtatiously rubbed his back on her way to first hour. Drew watched her hips sway left to right.

…..

Clare sat in the desk before class began. She wondered where Eli went to. He didn't say goodbye. It was as if he were never there. She shouldn't care, but she did. She cared about a battered person alone in the world.

Like Alli, even though Alli is her best friend…she distanced herself away from Clare. She hated seeing Alli so dismantled….there was nothing she could do about it. Time heals all wounds. Who ever said that needed to take those words back because in her friend's case…they did not.

As the bell rang, the students proceeded to their desks. Recognizing she forgot her notebook of all things, she went to go get it. Returning she noticed a new student being introduced. Not paying attention, she sat down at her desk returning her vision to the front of the class.

Eli! The familiar stranger…..

Eli noticed the ginger head as she sat down. He didn't know if he was happy to see her or not. What if she told people about him…not that she knew anything about him, but about their encounter.

"Class. Our new student is Eli Goldworthy. Please make him feel warm and welcome." Mrs. Dawes showed him to his seat….right behind Clare.

As he sat down behind her, he said nothing to her.

Of course he wouldn't say anything to her. Either he was rude or quiet or embarrassed. Maybe he didn't know how to handle seeing her. Well he was going to have to get used to it because they were going to be seeing a lot of each other.

….

Didn't matter where he went, Adam always felt uncomfortable every place he went to. His encounter with the stuck-up girl only made him aware of this. As he was being introduced by Perino, he felt as a spectacle for all the eyes to see.

He was an attraction. He hoped they didn't notice his binded chest…or his feminine features he tried to emasculate.

Walking down the aisle, he clumsily tripped over a backpack, it spilling comic books on the floor. The class giggled at the strange person.

"Sorry man." The boy picked up the books zipping up his backpack.

"It's cool. I should be saying sorry." Adam whispered as he saw DC, Marvel and a couple of Maxim magazines.

"The way you are looking, I can tell you're into comic books." Adam nodded.

"Dave's the name." He extended his hand as Adam accepted it gladly.

….

As class ended, Clare caught up to Eli walking down the hall.

"How are you feeling? I mean…" Eli stopped and stared at her. Her pale skin made her look so angelic. He hadn't been around a presence so pure in a while, but he couldn't get close to her. He hurt everyone he opened himself up to.

"Look, you did a good thing for me last night…Clare right." He said trying to make it seem like as he was not affected by her. "But that doesn't mean we are friends. It doesn't mean I owe you anything. When I see you, I'll just pass by." Eli said blandly.

"I wasn't asking a favor in return." She said with anger. "I was being humane to you, but you're so arrogant, you can't even see that. You didn't even say thanks or goodbye at that. Maybe it was a mistake to help you last night." Eli bit his mouth as she said that walking away.

He wasn't expecting a girl like that to say something so cutthroat. Though her words hurt, he realized it would keep him away from her because he deserved to be punished.

…


	3. Pretty Baby

**Pretty Baby**

**Chapter 3**

…

As the girls got into formations, she couldn't concentrate. Drew's words were in her mind. Maybe if she maintained the perfect body, it would keep him happy. It would make her happy.

"Bhandari, could you pay attention. You're off beat." Bianca approached her. The tall curly-haired girl put her hands on her hips.

"I was just…."

"I know you were just in la la land as usual. Maybe if you didn't have that extra weight on you, you could keep up." Bianca said to knock her confidence down.

"That was uncalled for." Jenna said taking up for her friend.

"Whatever…we're done." The girls walked to the locker room.

"Don't let her get you down." Jenna put her arm around the girl.

"But she's right. In order to perform well, I have to be the best." Alli said.

"Alli stop. There is nothing wrong with you…nothing." Jenna hugged her.

…

"Eli back in the flesh." K.C. said glad to see his long lost friend.

"I know…I've grown up since group home." Eli said. He was glad to see a familiar face. K.C. understood who he was. It was good to not have to explain to someone why he did what he did or said what he said.

As he followed his friend to the picnic table for lunch, he introduced him to his friends. Of course they were all shocked that K.C. would hang out with a punk, but if he was a friend of K.C.'s that meant he was good person at heart.

Clare wnt to the table a little late because he had to turn in a make-up assignment. Making her way to the table, she shook her head in disbelief. It would be Eli there.

"Clare." K.C. smiled. "This is Eli."

"We've met." They both said simultaneously.

…

"I've been thinking about you all day." Bianca locked the boiler room. She was ready to experience the best feeling known to man.

"Me too…and she doesn't know anything." Drew said taking off his shirt. Him and Bianca were playing a dangerous game, but they loved the thrill.

Cat and mouse…hide and go seek…they were sexually attracted to one another. They cant it. Drew wanted her the moment he laid eyes on her dancing. He remembered the first time he tasted her. She was sweet and bitter at the same time.

Alli wasn't his only priority. She was the trophy. He like knowing that she was always there for him when he did wrong. The security blanket was her role.

Bianca didn't care about Alli. If he was so satisfied with her, why did he cheat on her? She was so easy to manipulate. So would keep toying with the girl until she broke.

Unzipping his pants, she marveled the star jock in his glory.

….

"Well that's good." K.C. said,

"Eli…this is my future girlfriend." The tall brown haired boy said.

"Good to know that little piece of information" Eli said sarcastically leaving the table. Of course they would be friends. They were both perfect for eachother…like the two people on the wedding cake.

"What's his problem?" Clare watched as he walked away sitting next to her so called future boyfriend.

"Eli's always been eccentric…a known loner. Not too many people understand…he doesn't talk much but if you were bounced back and forth from group homes and foster homes, you wouldn't know how to talk to anyone either." K.C noticed her sad expression.

"I know…it's a hard life…some of us get out of the system…and others are only products." He brushed the hair from her eye.

….

Eli had to get his mind off his broken home…Tom. He was going to be there when he got back.  
>He would have to face that wrath again.<p>

Eli tried calling the Child Protective Services, but Tom was so clever…he disguised himself so well. They found no evidence. Why was his life like this? He knew God hated him.

Sitting down he sat up against the lockers, listening to his ipod. To his surprise he heard noises coming from the boiler room….and…..moans. Someone was getting lucky at this one minute. It should have been him.

"Lucky bastard." He said as he turned the ipod up. As the bell rang for them to go to class, he stuck around to who the culprits were. Not that he knew anyone here, he just wanted to know. As he waited for 5 minutes. He saw the hottest girl he had ever seen rushing out not paying him any attention. They walked out nonchalantly acting as if nothing happen.

He watched as a different girl came from the bathroom, wiping her mouth hug him. His girlfriend he presumed.

….

I can't believe you talked to the fair Fiona" Dave congratulated his new friend as he drank his Gatorade.

"Dave she literally barked at me." Adam said as they walked to woodshop.

"She's hot….who cares. Do you know how many boys have tried to talk her? She usually stays to herself. I don't think she has too many friends."

"Why is that?"

"O so you do care." Dave arched his eyebrow. "She was really close to brother Declan, then he started using drugs. When their family found out, they sent him to rehab…He tried to commit suicide. Fiona was never the same." Dave answered sadly.

"Man that's brutal. How do you know this?" Adam asked.

"Walls talk around here. You would never suspect their rich and glamorous life to be like that."

….

As the students began their work, Coach Armstrong asked to speak to Eli outside.

"Don't worry." He assured Eli. "You are exempt from the quiz tomorrow. I can get you a tutor to help you catch up. Luckily, it is just a couple of weeks in the semester." Eli nodded as he turned to walk inside the classroom.

"I also have one thing to say…Principal Simpson told us about you and Adam's current situation. If you need someone to talk too. Your teachers are here/" Eli knew where this was going.

"I don't need help…I'm not a charity case." He said low.

"No son. That is not…."

"I am not your son. Why do you want to help me…to make yourself feel better? All you people ever do is judge and snicker behind my back." Eli snapped. The whole class watched the display inside the glass. This boy was like an explosive.

Eli walked down the hall as he kicked a plastic trashcan aggressively. Opening the door, walking out the bathroom Clare saw Eli…he saw her. Stopping in his tracks, he turned his head shamefully running outside.

As he opened the door, he sat down on the steps holding his head in his hands. How can one girl calm him down like that? Clare decided to run after him. Bracing herself she sat next to him. Sometimes a person just needs to know they are not alone.

After minutes of waiting for a response, Clare touched his shoulder.

"We should go back inside." She said.

"No way." He said adamantly admiring the way the wind blew her hair. "I'm not going back to be the center of ridicule."

"….Eli…why do you think everyone is against you?" She looked into his eyes. Eli turned his eyes again not wanting to get trapped.

"Because…they are. You wouldn't understand. You have this sincere aura about you Clare." He didn't mean to say that.

"What I mean is….is.."

"It's ok…but you can't keep running away." She walked inside. Who was this girl? Why didn't stay away from him…like others? Watching her walk back inside, he didn't know what to think.


	4. You Know I'm No Good

**You Know That I'm No Good**

**Chapter 4**

…**..**

"Clare, where are all the gauze pads?" Her mother asked her from the bathroom.

"O….that's a really funny story…hahahha." Clare said tensely.

"Try me." Ms. Edwards walked to the kitchen to prepare dinner.

"Do you trust me?" Clare gave her mom a pan to cook the ground beef.

"Who was it for?" The mother knew as her daughter as she reached for herbs and seasonings.

"This guy at school. He had a little accident." Clare said. She didn't lie…technically.

"That's all." Her mother questioned with a smile.

"Yes." Clare confirmed. "by the way…I got detention tomorrow." Her mother dramatically hit her hand against her head. Clare only laughed.

"Sorry…"

Alli watched the two on the couch. Why did they have to die? She envied her best friend so much. She would give anything in the world to smell her mother's scent.

Ms. Edwards looked at the little girl on the couch. It must be hard to see people happy and she was miserable. She understood this feeling during her divorce.

"Alli come help us cook." The middle age woman offered.

"No thanks. I think I have an upset stomach. I'm going to the bathroom. I shouldn't have eaten those Chilli Cheese potato at lunch." She lied leaving the room.

"Mom, I'm worried about her."

"I know, but we can only help her if she allows us." Her mother said kissing Clare on the forehead.

…..

"Glad you had a good day." Eli opened the door looking around for Tom. He was in no sight. He walked in first as he looked around the house. As the two boys walked inside their room, they locked their door and moved the furniture. Where was he? Not that they wanted him there, where was he?

"I heard about your outburst today. You can't keep fighting with your fists." Adam said.

"You're right."

"Wait….did you just say I was right?"

"Yeah… Adam I'm so tired of this life sometimes." Eli sat down on the down on his bed.

"That doesn't mean you give up." Adam preached not liking how his brother talked. "Somewhere along the way…you lost your hope. You let others take it away from you. You don't even know how to form friendships. Just like with Clare. The least thing you could have done was thank her.

"You're right…"

…

No matter how many times she did this…it still felt fresh…new…harder to do. Staring at the toilet, kept telling herself that this was best for her. This would help her gain control of her life. This would bring her joy. She would be accepted.

Lifting her hair, she grabbed the toothbrush. Putting the handle in her mouth she gagged. Flushing the toilet she rinsed her mouth out. Beauty is pain.

…..

As the students got ready for classes, Adam saw Fiona sitting underneath the tree looking off. She was looking off as if she were actually thinking about real issues…not the superficial issues of a high school boy crazed girl. Her grey eyes were gorgeous.

Making his way over to her, he knew she would most likely embarrass him, but everyone deserved a friend. Catching her attention as he blocked the sunlight, she looked up at him.

"Come to spill more coffee on me." She huffed.

"No…I…here." He handed her a Tide Stain Removal Pen. Fiona looked and smiled for the first time in a while as the young boy walked away.

…..

"Hey Clare." Eli stopped at her locker. She was surprised but a good surprise.

"I come in peace." He held up his hand. Happy his wounds were healing. "Thank you…"

"It's not a problem. K.C. told me that you needed help with Physics. I can help if you like." Clare smiled but Eli kept looking at her lips.

"….I would like that." Eli said. He was trying and Clare could see it. Not wanting to stare she looked down dropping her books. Eli bent down to pick it up.

"Now who's the charity case?" Clare teased as he smirked.

….

Alli was more than ecstatic when she shined in practice today. Bianca was put to shame. Her life was coming together.

Or so she thought as she couldn't focus on Perino's lecture. Her head was spinning but she couldn't let anyone know that. The class turned their attention to the cell phone ringing with the cheesiest ringtone ever. Dave, embarrassed, reached for his phone trying to shut it off as the others laughed at him.

Dave looked up as Perino took the phone from his hand.

"You are such a lamo." Alli said aloud for the whole class to hear.

"Alli no interruptions." The teacher said as the class laughed.

"You mean like that."

"Why am I a lamo?...because I don't care about what others think about me….because I'm not a puppet…a product of materialism…I might be lame but I'm not you." He retorted back as the class looked shocked including Perino.

Though Perino was glad that the shy boy stood up for himself…policy was policy, they had to go to detention.

…..

"Drew, you are definitely the man." Owen praised him as they walked in the hallway.

"You know I get around." Drew smiled. "Besides what Alli doesn't know won't hurt her."

"You have Alli…simply refined…and Bianca…sexy,caliente." They both laughed.

"Not this again." K.C. rolled his eyes.

"Jealous…" Drew stopped looking at him.

"No way. Bianca is not the girl to brag about." K.C. tried to talk reason to his friend.

"Then why did you fool around with her on Clare." Owen said. He like K.C. but his friend was judgmental.

"Because I was stupid. Don't make the same mistake I did. Alli is good to you." They went their separate ways.

….

As the bell rang, Alli packed her things. Everything in the room spinning, she had to pace herself. Perino left to talk to a fellow teacher.

"Why did you do that to me? " Dave asked. "I never do anything to you. As a matter of fact, this is my first conversation with you. You're the main reason I don't talk to preps because they think they are better than anyone." Alli frowned. She didn't mean to hurt his feelings.

"Look, I'm just having a bad day. I didn't mean…" She fell forward as Dave caught her in his arms scared.

"I am going to get a nurse…just sit here." He placed her in the seat.

"No…I just skipped breakfast…that's all." Alli placed her hand on her head alarmed.

"Here" Dave pulled out his lunch to give to her. Alli was touched by this.

"I can't take this. What are you going to eat?" She looked up at him, the lights hurting her eyes.

"I can buy something from the vending machine. You need this more than me." Alli nodded taking his nice offering. She didn't know how hungry she was until she ate it. The question was when she was going to throw it back up.

….

A small gesture, it touched Fiona's heart. Why did she blow up on him like that? Obviously, he was sweet…and shy. She smiled to herself thinking about him.

This was a milestone. She never thought she belonged in the world…even with her twin. But he loved her anyways. If he loved her so much, why did he try to kill himself? Didn't he know that he was her best friend?

She knew it was selfish of her to think like that, but she couldn't help it. She blamed herself; she always pretended not to see when he did drugs. She didn't want them to take him away…that's why she didn't tell. Of course, they found out anyway.

Sending him to rehab, she knew it was the best decision for him, but he still blamed her. It was her fault he tried to kill himself. Her whole family knew this.

…..

"This is so like you to miss practice." Bianca told Alli in the gym before anyone came in.

"It's just detention. I'll make up for it tomorrow morning." She said clutching her bag. What had she turned into? There use to be a time when she stood up for herself…now she was just there. She wanted to get rid of this pressure in her life.

"Whatever Bhandari…you won't slow us down." Bianca returned to setting up the sound. Alli headed to the bathroom.

"So glad she's gone." Drew snared. "I couldn't wait to see you." He kissed the temptress. His girlfriend was so dumb and pathetic.

…

Thanks for walking me here. Clare smiled as K.C walked off. She had a dilemma. She didn't know if she wanted him or not. He was trying to redeem himself for his past sins.

Not that Clare didn't forgive…she did. It's just that something was missing. When he changed so did she.

Walking inside the library, she prepared herself for two boring hours.


	5. The Middle

**The Middle**

**Chapter 5**

…

"This is a time to reflect on one's behavior. Don't take this as a joke. Degrassi has a strict behavior policy that I plan to uphold." Simpson said looking at the 5 kids in the room.

Eli rolled his eyes. He wanted to thank Coach Armstrong for giving him detention because he didn't have to go home until later.

"Now that that's said and done..." Simpson laughed. "Guys I'll walk by every 15 minutes to check on you." He knew he technically shouldn't trust bad kids, but what would Clare, Alli, and Dave do. Hopefully they would not be influenced by Eli's tantrum.

Walking outside, the teens sat at different tables. Eli pulled out a tablet with pencils…drawing. It was the only thing that truly relaxed him. His mother taught him how. By drawing, he figured he would stay near her. His eyes would look in Clare's direction every once in a while. Clare noticed this and blushed.

She was thinking about K.C. again as she studied Physics. She should give him a chance, but she was scared she was going to end up like Alli…someone's trash not treasure. She tried telling her friend a million times but she always ignored the statement or said she was jealous. There was nothing to be jealous about.

"Megan Fox…is so…" Adam said looking at the magazine as Dave ate a chip.

"…No words necessary." Dave agreed. Alli rolled her eyes at the hearing of this.

"In a strange way, she reminds me of Bianca." Adam said insistently.

"Will you two shut-up talking about girls? It's pretty annoying." She turned around looking at them. Clare moved to sit by her.

"You need to stay stress free. Don't let her get under your skin."

"Easier said than done." Alli said. Where was her mother when she needed her? She needed wisdom and encouragement right now.

Looking at the clock…15 minutes passed. This was going way too slowly.

"Why don't you go talk to Eli" Alli insisted. "He's been staring at you for a good minute."

"I don't want to intrude…smother him." She said nervously.

"Stop stalling and go…or I will make him come to you." Alli snickered. At that moment it was like having the old Alli back.

"Fine,fine." Clare walked over to him, looking at the beautiful artwork.

"She's beautiful."

"She's my mom." Clare didn't think Eli would have such talent. It was like looking at a photograph.

"What… didn't know a guy like me could do this?" Clare shook her head. She found herself lost for words as she eyed the handsome young man.

"What all did pretty boy tell you?" Eli asked.

"….Just that your mom died when you were young and you both used to break into cars." Eli was surprised the girl wasn't scared of him.

"I don't scare easily." The girl said.

"I know…" He looked into her eyes. "You two seem close."

"We were….together…until we hit a "snag"…" She said.

"I'm sorry to hear that. I know what it's like to be betrayed. My Dad walked out on me." Eli stated as a tear fell down his cheek. Why did he tell her that? It wasn't her business; something about her told him he was safe. Clare frowned as she wiped the tear away.

"So why are you here Adam?" Dave asked.

"Honestly, I had nothing else to do. I live with Eli." Adam laughed.

"Are you serious?" Alli snapped back.

"Well excuse the hell out of me." Adam said sarcastically. Dave noticed this girl's sudden mood change. She must have a miserable life.

"Are you always this mean?" Dave asked.

"Are you immature?" Alli responded standing up.

Eli felt as if someone cared for him. She reminded him of his mother…so sweet. She would overreact at the slightest cut or scrape. Clare enjoyed touching his face. She knew she shouldn't have, but she did. His skin was soft as she rubbed her thumb across his cheek again. Eli grabbed her hand feeling something…but he couldn't….K.C. At that point Clare didn't care about K.C.. Clare rolled her eyes as she heard Alli and Dave bicker.

"Are self-righteous and insecure?" He stood up. "From what I observe about you…you are a follower. You would think you would be grateful and appreciative. You are a…" Dave caught himself. He would never call a girl that.

Clare watched this display. What was he talking about?

"Go on…say it…you wouldn't be the first person." Alli said with determination; his eyes softened at this confession. Alli removed herself from the table sitting by the nonfiction section on the floor.

Eli didn't know the guy had it in him. He grew respect for the other boy.

"I know that's your friend Clare, but she started it." Adam took up for Dave.

"I know…lately, she hasn't been the same. All I can say is that you never know what happens behind closed doors." Eli nodded lightly smiling at how cute she was.

Dave waited as Alli calmed down. Taking a seat next to her on the floor, he stared at her saddened face.

"I'm sorry. I was out of line." He apologized. Alli stared at him hard. Why did he apologize she antagonized him. He should have called her every name in the book. But she couldn't help it. She tried to be perfect…but how can you be perfect when life is spinning out of control.

"….I was out of line. I took out my problems on you. You are nice…even though I don't deserve it. A girl like me."

"What do you mean?" He listened to her intently. Alli noticed this too.

"You are right. I am a follower. I don't like who I am." She cried as Dave put his arm around her shoulder. "Every day I make mistake after mistake. I try to stop but I can't. I don't deserve to be happy…I'm damaged." Dave could only give her comfort.

He didn't know what to say. He didn't know she was going through so much. Alli continued to cry. Why couldn't Drew be like this to her?

Clare saw her friend cry, but Eli convinced her to stay where she was at…give her time to talk…and space.

"I have an idea…let's play truth or dare." Eli said.

"Really?" Adam asked sarcastically.

"Do you know a better way to pass an hour and 20 minutes?"

"You want to play" Dave asked the red eyed girl; she nodded.

"First, we all have to agree…whatever is said here…stays here." They agreed as they sat down in a circle.

"So Adam….." Dave began.

"Truth"

"Though you've only been here a couple of days…who do you think is the hottest girl in school?"Eli smirked at Dave's question.

"Bianca…most definitely." Clare and Alli rolled their eyes. Such a boy thing to say.

"I thought you thought Fiona…" Eli said.

"He asked hottest….not beautiful and classy." Adam stated. "Why do you girls hate her so much? Is it a jealousy thing?"

"No way!" Clare nearly screamed. "That girl is so unbearable and inconsiderate. She just takes what she wants and doesn't care."

"In other words." Alli reinforced. "She's a slut…." Alli said intensely.

"K.C. cheated on me with her….I know it was his fault…but have some respect for a relationship."

"So that's why he is working so hard to get in your good graces. It was just for sex. He really likes you." Eli reclaimed.

"I know." The blued beauty nodded.

"Clare…truth or dare." Eli asked.

"I can't believe I am going to say this…but truth?"

"Are you a virgin?" Clare debated if she was going to answer the question. Not that she was ashamed but maybe if she opened up to him, he would open up to her.

"…Yes…not because of my faith…because I want to make love…I want to be with someone who gets me and loves me….not trying to mold me into something I don't want to be." Alli hung her head in shame at this confession.

"When my sister was….raped…it was her first time. I can only imagine what she endured as that man took everything away from her…she didn't even get to see his face." Clare cried as Adam went to get her a tissue.

"I'm sorry Clare. I know where you're coming from…my mom was raped too…but I was too much of a coward to help her…to young…I was helpless…her last hours of life were in agony." Eli said.

" My family died…in a car accident. They were rushing to see me perform…an 18 wheeler ran into them. They died instantly. That's one of the reason I dance…to honor their memory. I never want to give up on that dream." She said biting her lip contemplating.

"Dave why did you help me?" She turned attention to him.

"…Because you needed help. You nearly passed out." He said listening to her stomach growling.

"Alli why didn't you tell me this?" Alli shrugged her shoulders at the question.

"I have made my life so hard for myself after my parents died. I had friends but it wasn't enough…I wanted to feel safe and loved again. I needed to feel safe. At the funeral I couldn't mourn. All the emotions I bottled up in myself."

"….and you threw it up in the toilet." Dave completed; Alli agreed.

"Alli I love you." Clare hugged her friend. "I should have known. There were so many signs…and Drew isn't making it any easier. Look I'm going to help you."

"No he's not. I want so badly to hold on to the past…but I'm so tired of getting treated like this."

"That's good Alli…it means you are ready to let go of the dead weight." Clare smiled. "I'll be there with you the whole way."

"We all will." They said. Alli smiled at this. This was what she needed.

"I know what's that's like…to wish you life was…to wish you were born anywhere but here….to have your life drastically change…my mom…is in jail. I was so scared to get close to really anyone because I thought they would judge me by her actions. I was so ashamed…and she writes me and I can never write her back…I don't know what to say."

Adam just stared at the other 4 people in the room They all had the same expression…hurt…anger…and a little bit of relief. For some reason, they trusted each other enough to tell their deepest darkest secret. No one expected to so easily display their life to others. Clare and Alli comforted each other holding hands. Eli and Dave fidgeted. So much was said…the unexpected was said. There he was wondering if he should speak. It was only fair.

"Guys…I have been holding this secret for long….I don't want anyone to hate me…I didn't ask to be this way." Adam rambled.

"How can we judge…we all have skeletons." Clare smiled.

"I'm an FTM Transgender."

"O…that explains it," Dave joked relieving the tension.

"….So that means…you are like Pinocchio." Alli stated. Adam smiled.

"How did you know? " Clare asked. "I mean you could just be…gay."

"No its hard to….its like you feel trapped inside your skin. For me I identified with boys. I think like a man…I know you guys think Im a freak." He said softly.

"No…you are you." Eli reassured him.


	6. White Houses

**White Houses**

**Chapter 6**

…

Alli brushed her hair as she was getting ready for bed. She began to relax. She believed everything would be ok. When she told Ms. Edwards, the woman enveloped her in her arms and began to cry. At this moment, Alli began to see that the woman saw her as her own daughter. It wasn't her mom, but she was grateful to be apart of another family who cared and loved her the same way. She would remember this when she felt the urges.

During detention, she realized that everyone has problems. She had to learn to confront them.

Going to Clare's room, she was glad to see that her friend made room for her in the bed. She didn't want to be alone tonight. They would give her all the counseling and guidance she needed.

"Clare…thank you for being a good friend."

"Alli of course…thanks for sticking with me during the divorce and K.C." Clare face the girl.

"Speaking of K.C….he's going to take a backseat to Eli."

"Why do you say that?"

"Come on Edwards, you two have major sparks."

"…" Clare blushed turning the light off.

"Good night."

"Really Clare…you can't ignore your feelings for too long." Alli laughed closing her eyes.

…

"This is really scary. Tom hasn't been here in two nights?" Adam said checking the cabinets. He was looking for clues…but to where. As the two walked in the house…nothing was out of place. It was the same way they left it in the morning. It was good waking up to serenity….but they were not used to this.

"I know…what happened? What if he's planning something? Eli checked the caller i.d.

"What if it's with drugs? Adam asked. "I mean what if they come back here?"

"I don't know…." Eli finally said. Tom was definitely a rough neck…a hated man. He always made enemies. What if their lives were at stake?

"Ok, here's the deal. If he is not back tonight…we call the police."

"Are you serious? What if they separate us? What if they send us away?

"Adam…I don't know how to say this but it could be a lot worse than that…we don't have a choice?"

…..

Alli held her breath as she walked up the steps with Clare. She was ready to do this. She always put the topic on back bunner, hoping it would get better. She was regretting this day to come for the longest…but it must be. The day finally came.

"Do you need me there?" Clare held the door for her.

"No…."Alli said hugging the girl as they went their separate ways.

As Alli went to her locker, she saw Drew smirking at his phone. Most likely some other girl's text. This was her motivation. She knew that smirk. First Johnny…now him. Mental abuse…she didn't deserve it.

"As she opened her locker, Drew bent down to give her a kiss.

"Save it…"

"O my God. Not this time again. You can be so dumb at times. I have one of the hottest girls in school. You are the only one I want." Drew lied.

"No…I'm done. I have no more fight in me." She walked away. Alli smiled walking away from him. She handled the situation quite well in her opinion. She didn't make a scene. She didn't give him time to persuade her. Alli was tired of constantly putting energy in a one person relationship.

…

Eli watched as Clare was talking to K.C. He had to find a way to define this pull he had to her. One look and he relaxed. Her voice calmed him. He imagined kissing her. It didn't have to be a real. He would be grateful for just a peck on the cheek.

"Stop looking at Clare." Dave walked up to him.

"I cant help it…K.C. is lucky." Eli frowned.

Clare saw Eli staring at her. She wanted to walk over to him, but K.C. got in the way…as usual. It was her fault. She should just tell him. How she feels. She was not that same girl she was three months ago. How could she feel so close to a stranger…but she felt as if they had known each other for so long.

K.C. saw the way the two looked at eachother…but he was going to have her again.

…

"Hey Adam." Fiona raised her hand to catch his attention in the hallway.

Adam had to pinch himself. Was she talking to him? The princess was actually making conversation with him.

"The tide pen…it comes in handy." She played with her hair.

"That's good to know." He said shyly. The two looked at eachother blushing.

…

_Why did you not speak to me? Was it because of K.C?_ Clare scribbled on the piece of paper handing it to Eli. She didn't want Dawes to see it.

_You two were talking. I didn't want to interrupt_. Eli tried to himself this. He didn't want his friend to hate him. He also didn't want her to end up hating him.

_O Ok _He could see her disappointment through her handwriting. As class ended Clare gathered her books. He had to give her a legitimate answer.

"You intrigue me." He grabbed her wrist. "Its like when I am around you, I want to be near you. I know that sounds crazy….we just met…but its true…but there is K.C. who likes you so much. I don't want you to…." Eli shrugged.

"You intrigue me too Eli. I want to get to know you." Clare smiled contently.

…..

Drew wasn't worried about the so-called break-up. He would get back with her in no time. Meanwhile he would occupy his time by making Alli jealous. Waiting for Bianca outside her class he smirked. As she walked out, he grabbed her waist kissing her. Bianca complied gladly.

"How about we make this official." Drew asked.

"Now you're talking my language." Bianca kissed him hard as the student body looked shocked. This boy had no respect.

When Clare heard the news about the new couple, she headed towards the restroom closest to Alli's class.

"Alli….Alli." She walked until she spotted her feet.

"Hey Clare…don't worry. I didn't do it, but being here is helping.

"I'm coming in." Clare said.

"I'm good." She breathed deeply. "I just cant believe he is parading her around like that. "

"He's scum. Don't let him break you." Clare insisted.

"I won't." She said with determination as they walked outside.

"By the way, Dave wanted me to give you this." Clare handed her the paper bag. Opening it, she smiled.

"Turkey sandwich, chips and an apple….he is such a dork." Alli rolled her eyes laughing.

…

"You seem to be in less pain." Clare observed as Eli sat down at the picnic table. He just left Coach Armstrong's office apolozing for the other day. The teacher could tell that something was on his mind but, he didn't want to push him.

"Yeah…" Eli said knowing where the conversation was going. He felt like a crazy person…he wanted her so close yet far away.

Clare admired his hard exterior. His green eyes were piercing to her. It was if if he were sending a message to her… "I cant be hurt. I'm strong enough to handle anything you throw at me." But apparently he wanted to be cared for.

"…You're not going to tell me who did it to you…are you?" Clare watched him shrug.

"Clare…why do you care? I mean what's it to you. Clearly you can tell im messed up. I'm sure K.C. told you more about me than you want to admit." She bit her lip.

"I care because I just do. Do you always push everyone who tries…..uhhggggg…you are so frustrating." She shook her head.

"You don't get it." He stood up. "If I open up to you. You will leave me." He said.

"How do you know that?" Clare approached him looking in his eyes.

"Because you are perfect…people like you shouldn't take interest in people like me." Clare hugged him. He hugged her back.

"…But…I want to…if you let me." She smiled.

"I want you too….to be there for me." Eli said.


	7. Shape Of My Heart

**Shape of My Heart**

**Chapter 7**

…

Bianca knew her role and she played it well. That's how she always got the man. Good girls finished last. She had the moves to make any man putty in her hands. She liked it…power….control. She wrote the rules. Drew was her main goal…number one target.

Who could deny him? Who would want to? Rippling muscles and good sex…any girl would want it.

She laughed at herself as she thought of Alli. Such a stupid little girl. She couldn't see how he would look at her. She never liked the girl. She never liked Clare. A challenge was always fun to her though. Why should she stop there?

Call her a home wrecker, but you can't wreck a home that is already broken. She was going to make Alli's life a hell…just because she could.

….

Adam and Eli sat in the police station. Expect the unexpected. They were waiting….for anything…any word. One man disappeared into thin air…leaving no traces behind him. Filing a missing person's report, they waited on the officer to come back.

"So…what do we do now?" Adam asked putting his hands in his pocket. "Do you think we did the right thing….what if it's karma?"

"We don't know what happened." Eli said sitting up in the metal seat. "We don't know if he's dead…or alive…drug related or not."

"Basically, what you're saying is that either way we are screwed. If he is alive, he's coming back with a vengeance…if he is dead then we are shipped off again." Adam said with furry as he walked outside.

Eli tried everything to protect them, but this was out of his reach.

…

Alli sat in the cold room. Looking at the woman in white who was waiting for her to speak. She couldn't find the words. She didn't want to feel stupid or dumb. Biting her lip she realized she already accomplished that. The lady was nice with a soft spirit. Patience was a virtue. She opened her mouth but nothing came out.

"Alli, take your time." She smiled. "You don't need to feel obligated to speak now, but I am here when you are ready."

"I….do….want to talk…but I don't know what to say." She answered truthfully.

"Well then. Tell me about your parents."

"They died a couple of years ago. We were so close. We used to go on road trips, watch movies…you name it."

"Sounds like they loved you." The women adjusted her glasses.

"It wasn't always like that. My dad use to be the biggest dictators. It was like I had claustrophobia. I had to be perfect…had to give 110%."

"When did he stop?"

"When I ran away from home with my ex-boyfriend Johnny, who didn't give a…crap…about me." She snared.

"Why do you say that?"

"Because he disrespected me…called me names…and I took it…and I carry that with me now." Alli cried.

"Alli you need to understand that life is what you make it. You have to separate yourself from the distress. Johnny said those things to make himself feel better. He preyed on you. That's not love. That's manipulation."

"I know that now, but why did I do it? Why did I give so much up to be with him?"

"Because child, you are young and you have to understand that what is best for others is not best for you. Do what makes you happy." The counselor stated.

….

Eli looked as a woman walked into an officer's office. The officer who helped them. He figured this would be a long wait.

"Hey sweetie." The woman kissed his cheek giving him his lunch.

"I decided to make you a little something." She sat in the seat. "What are you working on?"

"Baby you know I can't discuss cases with you." The man hung up the phone.

"I know but Clare told me she knows that guy sitting outside your office." She got up to make herself some coffee.

"So he's a kid at her school…him and Adam."

"Yep…remember I told you the guy who she helped that night…its him. She says he was bloodied and bruised." She took a sip. He absorbed her words.

"Ok Helen…the kids just filed a missing persons report…on their guardian."

"He did it." She said vehemently. "You know it's true Kurt."

"You can't go around making accusations like that babe. It could be a teacher…a…"

"You're not dumb…either way it's neglect." Helen said passionately.

"I've tried to get a hold of their social worker but no response." The older man looked at the boys through the glass window.

…..

"It's not that simple when you want to make everyone else happy. I remember the day I gave Johnny my virginity."

"How did it make you feel?"

"It felt like I was split into two. It was so piercing…but I kept telling myself…if I did…if I did he would love me."

"Don't beat yourself up. You are not the first woman to do this."

"Don't you get it doc, I have an imbalance …Johnny…Drew." She cried.

"Do you think you are unloveable?" The doctor looked as she nodded. "Tell me why?"

"….because I keep making stupid mistakes. I keep trying to like the men who I am supposed to like. I keep trying to have them take the place of my father and brother."

"Alli, no one can take their place. They are two of the most important people in your life. They are with you now. You carry them in your heart. You have to see that. You have told me reasons why you think you are unworthy…now tell me what makes you worthy." Alli shrugged at this. She never thought about it.

"I guess…I am a good dancer….and I love to have fun…at least I used too. I used to do a lot of things I don't do now….talk a lot, shop…eat."

"Alli you are doing just fine. This is what you need to say. You need to get back to the happy place you were before…not for me….but for you. For the next session, I want you to make a list of what makes you happy." Alli walked out the room. This wasn't so bad.

…

"You are right baby. But they deny any claim of abuse." He said defeated.

"So what is going to happen to them?"

"We can't send them home with no supervision." Kurt began brewing a plot. "And don't even volunteer. You have enough on your hands with Clare and Alli."

"They can stay with you." He paused from organizing her desk.

"It's a great idea. You have more than enough room in your apartment. Plus they won't get separated and they can finish the school year with getting uprooted. And if anything happened, they would be protected."

"I'll think about it."He stated. Being the commissioner did have connections. He loved how Helen always was willing to help anyone in need. Though they have only been together for 6 months, she was special. Her ex-husband's loss was his gain.

….

Slowly but surely, Alli was gaining a new approach on life. She had to calm down and take a breather. Examine life and why she did what she did. She missed them terribly. She missed hearing classical music from the kitchen by her mother. She missed how Sav would always take the last of every bite. She missed how her father smelled of peppermint. Clinging to those memories would keep her sane…because she needed to be sane.

Johnny and Drew, she would never go down that path again. Loving herself was the key to stop the cycle.

"You shouldn't be out here by yourself." Dave said to her sitting on the park bench beside her.

"I needed to breathe." She blushed surprising herself.

"I know the feeling. Why can't parents see we are a product of their mistake….I mean not that you are a mistake…"

"Dave…I get it" She smiled touching his hand.

"I've been staring at this letter for three months. I can't open it yet. That means this is real." Alli looked at him. She wished she knew how to cheer him up.

"Just don't mind me. You have enough on your plate." He stated. She stared at him.

"What." He asked putting the letter in his jacket pocket.

"Let me guess…you are one of those people who puts everyone's needs before their own."

"I have to…my dad doesn't deserve this. Everyday he's…..I just don't want to talk about it." He said.

"Then we won't." She concluded.

…..

Eli and Adam didn't know what was to happen next. All they knew was that they were riding in an older's man car who had taken them from their home…..correction….place of living.

A home was filled with memories to cherish, loved ones….not broken glasses…. bruises… screams….and drunken words filled with disgust.

The car ride was silent but it was better than most. No tension. As they arrived in the parking lot, they gathered their bags and followed the cop. What did they just get themselves in?


	8. Looking Up

**Looking Up**

**Chapter 8**

***Paramore***

…**.**

He was new to this. Not that he didn't want to help the teenagers in trouble but he didn't know what to say to them. He noticed how they looked at the complex and at him. They were most likely scared. Can you imagine a 6 foot 210 pound man with a gun?

As he allowed the boys to get adjusted in the guest rooms, he showed them around the home.

Eli and Adam were not expecting a nice furnished apartment like this…at least with a cop's salary. Every room was spacious and accented with wooden floors with flat screen televisions and a modern kitchen.

"Would you mind me asking how did you get your apartment to look so…." Eli began.

"…Lavished?" Adam completed.

"I am retired military." He opened the refrigerator pulling out sandwich meat, bread and condiments for the boys.

"You guys. I'm new to this. So let's just give each other time to adjust to the living arrangement. I want us to respect each other." He said. Adam was walking around the living room looking at the various vases. These kids…he could tell…had a really harsh life.

"Sure…so I guess that woman who went into your office was your girlfriend?" Eli inquired.

"Yep….for a while now…you go to school with her daughter." Kurt took off his jacket as Eli drank his soda.

"Who I don't really know anyone?"

"Clare." The boy choked. Adam hit him on the back.

"Sorry son. Didn't know it would have an effect on you." He took off his watch.

"So you did this for her." Adam said with a hint of sadness.

"No…I did it because I know what's its like. I was in the foster care system for 18 years. I was never adopted.

"…." They hung their heads down.

"But it's ok because I made it out alive with clear head….you two will too."

…..

"Hey Als." Clare said fixing a salad when the girl walked in the door. "How was session?"

"…Good." She took off her backpack.

"Ummm by the way Drew dropped this letter off. It's your choice whether or not you want to open it." Clare turned around attending to her food. She was listening to see if she opened. Clare didn't want her best friend to. But Alli did. Clare heard her rip open the envelope.

"Bullshit." Alli cursed throwing it in the trash running upstairs. Taking the letter from the trash can, she followed her upstairs. She was glad when her friend was not in the bathroom.

Clare grew furious at the letter she read. How can you use "love" so loosely?

…

Eli was getting his books as K.C. approached him. Telling the expression on his face, he wasn't happy.

"Why Clare?" K.C. asked "…Out of all the girls to like why her…"

"What are you talking about? I haven't….."

"Cut the crap Eli. You didn't deny the fact. Still the same….never going to change." Eli dropped his back pack getting in his face. Height didn't matter to him. He wasn't scared of anyone.

"You don't know me like you think you do."

"But I know how you look at her Elijah. You know you're bad for her. Don't you care about her?"

"This conversation is over with." He slammed the locker walking away heading to media immersion.

"Hey Eli…my mom told me….what's wrong." She stopped in mid sentence.

"Nothing…not now at least." He sat down.

"Please tell me." Her blue eyes sparkled. He was just imagining things he shouldn't be imagining.

"Don't you think you should be wasting your time on someone else…not like me?"

…

Bianca definitely didn't mind parading Drew around Alli's face. It's amazing who you think your friends are until you lost it all…then you have no one. Bianca made sure no one was in the restroom…she didn't want people to know. She knew for a couple of weeks but she had to make sure. The pregnancy test would prove it.

These were going to be the longest 5 minutes of her life.

….

Dave sat under the tree looking at her from afar. She was simply breathtaking…her ebony hair, mahogany skin tone….He wanted to speak to her but she would probably ignore him. Daytime is different than nighttime. She probably wanted nothing to do with him. He had enough to worry about other than some stupid girl…beautiful girl.

He should be concerned for his mom. Locked up…alone. No one on to communicate with. He saw the documentaries. He knew what she would endure. A tear fell. Why didn't his dad talk to him about this? He would just carry on as if everything was fine and dandy.

He was in deep thought that he didn't notice Alli sat down next to him on the grass.

"Rough night." She wiped his eye.

"I read the letter last night. I was being so selfish." He said.

"No" She shook her head. "You are being a kid.

"You're wrong Bhandari, I think it's best if you stay away from me." He walked away saddened. Drew saw the display. He would use this to his advantage.

….

"We are just friends. What is the matter with that?" She asked. They were just friends. Obviously there was something there, but they both were scared to act on it.

"You know why. Look you might not know this…but a lot of guys want you…."

"Wait…does this have anything to do with K.C." She figured.

"…"

"It does." She rolled her eyes as they continued their work. She kind of blamed herself. She was leading him on.

….

"Admit it Fiona…you can't shoot a basket." Adam teased as they working on community service.

"How is that relevant? We are supposed to be sorting cans." She tried to distract him. "Not playing basketball…you are so random." She laughed.

"It doesn't have to be relevant. It's just having fun…" He said putting the ramen noodles in a box.

"I haven't had fun in a while." She admitted. She was glad she asked him to help her with the charity event. The can goods would go to shelters.

"Well now that I'm here, that's going to changed." The princess only blushed.

….

"That one looks like a flower" Clare pointed to the cloud in the sky. Both her and Eli went to the park. Lying down on the grass, they felt as kids in kindergarten…instantly best friends.

"When I look in the sky…I pretend to see my mom's face. I try to image her smiling." He said calmly.

"I think she is smiling at the person you've become."

"….yeah 10 foster homes later." He joked morbidly.

"Everyone loses sight sometimes." She turned to look at him. Feeling her eyes on him, he didn't turn to look at her. It was hard being around her. Clare didn't know what she was doing and pouted.

"Stop doing that Clare." He said trying not to focus on her lips.

"Whatever I'm doing can't be as bad as you not intentionally looking at me."

"Stop doing that with your lips." She didn't know what he was talking.

"I'm not doing anything." She poked him on his side as he began to laugh. "Did you just laugh…o my god…your ticklish." Her eyes sparkled mischievously.

…..

"So that's a mushroom Swiss burger and Sprite." Dave repeated the customer's order. The customer in particular…Jenna Middleton…was toying with him.

"So why don't you have a girl yet….I mean you're cute." She asked as she sat there looking up at him.

"Really Jenna…now is not the time." Alli jumped to his defense as she watched him walk away.

"Since when did you grow a heart? You used to take joy in tormenting others." Jenna used her hand sanitizer.

"Aren't you a little weary of it?" Alli shook her head gathering her things to go apologize to Dave. When the boy put the order in to the cook to get ready, he took some boxes outside. Following him, she got his attention.

"Go home Alli. I' m at work."

"I resent how you're not thanking me right now." She said following him upstairs.

"I resent how you took my defense. I don't need you for that. Everyone knows how Jenna is." The girl shrugged at the statement. She was just trying to help him. She didn't want him to think that he was incapable.

"I was just trying….." She started.

"O please Bhandari….get off of your high horse…If I hadn't of given you my sandwich., you would still be talking about me….trashing me." He used the box cutter.

"…." Alli just watched him as he angrily the packaged. As a result he cut his hand.

"Shit." He said. Rushing to his side, she grabbed the towel from his apron using it stop the bleeding.

"It's not that deep." He said embarrassed by his actions…but she touched his hand so gently he forgot about their angry words.

Alli admired how peaceful he looked as she took care of him. They both smiled.

"I think it would be best if you go." He said biting his lips ruining their moment.

…..

"No…stop…stop." He laughed as he laughed uncontrollably.

"Why, you like it." Clare said not stopping from her attack. She liked seeing him like this…no troubles on his mind…no worries on his face. She noticed how his lip quivered. Taking her mind off of her attack he gained control…pinning her down on the ground.

"You are too." He began his assault. Her laugh was nice to hear.

"I like seeing you smile." He said. He made it his number one priority to make her smile often.

"It's because…of you." She said shyly sitting up as he let go of her.

"Clare I want to do something…but I…" He looked at her. Clare didn't know what he was talking about until he leaned in slowly. Her heart began to beat fast and her palms became wet. She didn't know why, she just met him in less than 2 weeks. Why did she feel greatly for him in such a short amount of time than K.C.?

Turning her face to look at him, he gently pressed his lips against hers. They were both unsure at first, then their feelings took over. Clare moved her arms around his neck as he pulled her closer to him. Never was he going to let her go.


	9. All I Wanted

**All I Wanted**

**Chapter 9**

***Paramore*!**

…

The kiss the two shared solidified all the feelings they shared for one another. As time passed, Eli began to trust her more. He had never stayed in one place for long…never had the chance to be accustomed to the same people. He liked the feeling.

Kurt was a reliable guy. He saw him as a father. Both him and Adam looked up to the older man. Of course they would get grounded for teenage matters, but no TV was better than getting hit with beer bottles. Tom was a distant memory to the two.

As days passed, he noticed how Clare made his skin get goose bumps. How just the thought of her made ….

"So Eli…want to have some fun." Jenna asked with flirtation.

"Sorry…you're not my type." Eli shook his head. He wasn't dumb. He knew K.C. put her up to it. How dumb did he think he was? He should have treated Clare right when he had the chance. It was his turn now.

"O please…I'm every man's type. If you get tired of the virgin, you know where to find me." The blonde walked to class.

…..

I can't believe this. Drew hit his head against the steering wheel. How can one's life change in 5 minutes .

"You're….pregnant." He stated. How could this happen. He thought they were safe. He always used the proper condoms. Bianca waited for him to say something else. She understood the shock.

"…Yeah. The doctor says for about a month." She played with her fingers.

"Is this some sick joke? Are you trying to trap me?" Drew asked trying to play all the options out in his head.

"No! You are the only one I was having sex with." She exclaimed.

"Yeah right…let's be honest you aren't known for having a high moral compass. You probably poked holes in the condom when I wasn't looking." Bianca cried. She thought a baby would make them closer.

"It's yours…you can stop looking at me like that." She said

"Yeah now…did you give the same speech to Owen or K.C." Bianca did not know her life could take a turn for worst just by one conversation. She was so stupid for thinking about planning doctor appointments and baby showers with him in the picture.

"If the baby is mine…get rid of it." He said getting out of the car. Leaving Bianca outside on the courtyard, she watched him walk out of her life.

…..

Alli missed Dave terribly but he refused to be around her. She saw the way he looked at her in class but he always turned his head. What was he thinking? He probably thought she was crazy. Why would anyone with good sense want to be friends with her? Clare was an exception. She knew her before her life was a mess.

Her therapist was helping though. She hadn't thrown up in nearly a month. Someone was still missing…Dave.

She remembered how his eyes looked that day he accidently cut himself. He was fighting against something…trying to push himself away from her….or maybe just maybe…just push her away from him. He was trying to help her away in some odd way.

Dave kept rereading his mother's letter over and over again on the roof. He didn't know what to write her. He would probably get another detention but he didn't care. He had to clear his mind.

_My dearest Dave,_

_Life itself can be one inconvenience. Obstacles can always be a major setback. Some want to grab their happiness at any costs, like me. I did what I did and I'm not proud of it. I pray to God everyday that you and father forgive me. I did not realize the severity of my actions. I cry thinking about how many school dances and dates I am missing. I miss your funny jokes and your father's comforting words. I hope one day you can grow to love me as I love you._

She was his mother. Of course he loved her no matter what. He began to cry as he heard the door open. Preparing to lie, he turned around to find Alli.

"You were crying." She noticed him reading the letter. "I gotta go." She gripped his arms not allowing him to move.

"Please….Alli…let me go." He said as she ignored his statement embracing him. Closing his eyes, he enjoyed the intimacy embracing her too.

…

"Bianca, are you ok?" Jenna handed her a paper towel so the girl could wipe her mouth.

"Yeah…I should have never eaten those fajitas." Bianca tried to play it off as she flushed the toilet.

"Yeah…they are kind of spicy." The blonde put on her lip gloss.

"Put on all the lip gloss you want Middleton…K.C. won't notice you. " Bianca said with spite. She was always trying to get under someone else's skin.

"Excuse me…."

"You heard me…he likes Clare a lot." Bianca played with her hair.

"Says the girl who he used as a possession….but that's with any guy." Jenna put the gloss in her purse.

"Please….you wish you were given the opportunity. Let's talk about how you tried to talk to him behind Clare's back…and you wonder why you walk the hallways by yourself…And you're crazy if you call Marisol a true friend. She gets in where she can fit in."

"Say all you want to…but at least I'm not pregnant with someone's love child." Bianca's eyes bucked.

"OMG…you are! I was just trying to get a rise out of you. Have a good 9 months." Jenna flipped her hair walking out the door gracefully. Bianca knew her secret was out. She knew Alli would just be jumping for joy.

…..

Dave and Alli were walking down the halls together, people were definitely paying attention. Of course Dave, being the shy one, he held his head down a little bit. Alli grinned as they stopped by her locker.

"The typical beauty and the geek." Dave joked.

"Stop talking about yourself like that…if people can't see what a good person you are…forget them..I'm….I'm glad I saw it." She blushed as he carried her books.

"Ummmm…could you come to one of my sessions with me….I mean you don't have too…I just…."

"Luckily…I'm off." He smiled. Both weren't paying attention to Drew watching them. No one could look at her but him. She was his property.

….

"I know you feel played" Owen touched his friend's shoulder.

"To have your girl get stolen by the nerd."

"Shut the hell up…" Drew said.

"Don't take out your aggression on me. Not my fault you and Binx didn't use condoms." Owen laughed.

"It's not mine….and we did" Drew said.

"….yeah right not effective ones." Owen said.

…..

"When my mom…did what she did…she thought she was discreet." Eli laid his head in Clare's lap as Clare played with his hair.

"…but I always knew….growing up in that kind of environment made you more aware of your surroundings.

"I saw the multitude of guys who walked in and out of the apartment….I heard the screams and moans they made…some were just guys looking for a good time…others were guys looking a free time."

"….I remember being 5 years old running into her room trying to stop those men from hurting her. She was a good mom….a good person. She didn't deserve to die." He cried as Clare kissed his eyes."

"I know she was Eli." She said as he reached in his bag grabbing his tablet…turning it to the picture he drew of her.

"You remind me so much of her….your light…your innocence…can you believe she had any innocence left after doing what she did…but she never complained…she only thought that life was meant for her…there were no other means to provide for us."

"Eli I can't begin to imagine what you have been through…all the bitterness and harshness…you endured…it brings tears to my eyes." Eli looked at his angel as he wiped her tears away. At that moment, he knew she would be in his forever.

"No..don't cry…It was my life. I'm not ashamed of it. It brought me where I am now." Eli smirked.

"Yeah underneath a tree…" Clare laughed as he kissed her cheek.

"…With you." He smiled

…..

"The funny thing about scars is that…even when they heal…you still feel them." Fiona said looking at her wrist.

"It's like…I can still see the blood coursing through mine." Adam showed her his in return.

"I know what you mean…the weight of depression won't let me go." She took a bite of her lasagna.

"I'm just getting to the point where I can look Declan in the face without crying. When I saw him, he dropped down to his knees crying." She enjoyed the breeze.

"Have you ever felt as if you hid from the world?" The question took Adam by surprise.

"That's how I feel every day. I hide behind my prestige….I try to create an image for myself….I'm just babbling. You don't want to listen to me." She said.

"No Fiona..I do…I do know what its like to hide." He held his head down. Fiona saw that he wanted to say something but let it alone….for now.


	10. Karma

**Karma**

**Chapter 10 **

***Alicia Keyes***

…

"You're making the worst mistake of your life Clare." K.C. stopped Clare.

"Excuse me?" Clare said with attitude. She was tired of him and his judgmental ways…him always being there.

"K.C. I don't have time for this." She rolled her eyes.

"You know you can do better than him. Trouble always follows him. You are putting yourself in harm's way." He grabbed her wrist.

"Get your hands off of me. You know what…..stay out of my life and my business." Clare stated.

"The minute you cheated on me with Bianca…you made your decision…though it was a mistake. You should have told me. I found out from Jenna."

"Of course you found out from Jenna…..wonder why? Clare I thought we were trying."

"I thought we were too, but nothing is there anymore." She said as K.C.'s heart dropped.

"I understand you care for me…but it's over." She walked away.

…

Dave you have to promise me…that when we go inside….when we come back outside…you will still see me the same way." She said as she waited for her name to be called.

"Alli do you trust me?" Dave asked handing her a candybar.

"….Yeah." She finally said with a little smile as she bit her lip. She liked having Dave by her side. He was comforting and uplifting. She found herself staring at him in class sometimes. She noticed how he would try to stay to himself. She didn't like that because she was first to know that everyone shouldn't be alone.

As they walked inside, she greeted her therapist.

"I see we have a visitor…" The older woman said.

"Yes…this is Dave…my good….friend." The two sat down.

"Nice to meet you….so did you make that list?"

"Yes. I didn't realize that it would take me so long to make…it made me realize myself."

"What makes me happy…is…I haven't really figured it out yet. I mean….of course the logical answers are friends, family, dancing…but I want to rediscover myself. I'm taking it day by day…and I notice how the flowers blossom and the sun shines…that was so corny of me." She laughed.

"No Alli, it's not. You cannot fix years of damage in one day."

"It takes time and the right amount of support." She smiled at Dave.

…

Hey Clare." Jenna said to her.

"…..Hey Jenna. If you want K.C. you can have him…just stay away from Eli." The red head said.

"No…im really sorry about that…this is about Alli…." Jenna said.

"How is she doing….since she quit the team."

"I call it taking a vacation…what do you want. You are always trying to pick for information." She said.

"No…I wasn't doing that. All I was trying to say was that…karma….Bianca is pregnant with Drew's child."

"Can't say I didn't see that coming…." She began to walk away.

"Clare I miss you." Jenna said.

….

"So Dave, do you want to tell Alli why you would like to see her get better?" She stated

"I'm not good at this…but I can try." He looked up in Alli's eyes.

"Alli…you puzzle me so much…you are so weird." She hung her head down. "No…in a good way…you make me believe that people can change for the better." He lifted her chin up smiling. "Watching you these days, I've learned things too…like how to open up to people…and stop being afraid of people's reaction to me."

His words made her day. She had the brightest smile he had ever seen. He was glad he gave it to her.

"…you have a beautiful smile." He stated. Dr. Shepard smiled at the two.

…..

Eli had to mark this day down as one of the best in his life. He had his Clare in his arms as they laid on her roof….watching the sun. The day was beautiful….the breeze blew just right and accented her red curls. He continued to stare at her as he traced her face.

Clare was enjoying this day as well. She thought K.C. would be the only one who could understand her, but Eli understood her on a different level. His kisses were addictive. He knew how to touch her in every way.

Leaning into one another, the two kissed gently. They had to feel each other's lips. Slipping his tongue in her mouth, he began to trace circles in Clare's back. He smiled when she moaned at this. He began to think of other ways to make her moan.

Clare was just enjoying his tongue in her mouth. He was trying to find her hot spots. She didn't mind. He was just all she could think about.

"Clare..." He whispered as he licked her ear.

"Ummmmm…" She said dazed.

"Let's go inside." He said. Before she could retain what he said, he pulled her up with him as he took her back inside laying them on her bed.

"How far have you gone with K.C.?" He asked not wanting to pressure her.

"We just…kissed." She said looking up at him. He smiled at her innocence.

Her heart sped up when he unbuttoned her top. She nearly jumped as she felt him trace his fingers from her neck to her stomach. He had to make sure this wasn't a dream. She held her breath as he eyed her body. Noticing her distress, he reassured her that he wanted to take it slow.

"Do you want me to stop?" He smiled as she shook her head…returning to their kiss. When Clare put her tongue in his mouth, he thought he was going to lose it there. Lifting his shirt over his head, she helped him. Though his scars were repulsive to himself, she did not show it. Laying him down, she began to touch them. Eli felt her touch...tender….gentle….electric shock. Overwhelmed by her compassion to him, he held her in his arms. All they needed was this.

…

"Adam I think we need to have a talk." Kurt called the boy in the kitchen.

"What's up?" Adam asked. Kurt held up the diamond necklace in his hand.

"I thought I said no girls in the apartment." He said with a half grin.

"She wasn't here. She gave it to me…a memento." He smiled.

"This is too expensive for a memento." Kurt examined the fine jewelry.

"…You don't know her then."

"I think the better question is does she know the "real" you." Kurt said sitting down. Adam knew that tone. He wanted to talk.

"How many people know about Gracie?"

"Just you, Mrs. Edwards, Eli, Alli, and Clare and Dave."

"I know you like Fiona. I'm not telling you to tell her or not…the choice is yours. You have to keep being around her to truly find out if she open minded enough to handle it. People can be ignorant in this world. I don't want anything to happen to you."

"If it means anything….I'm glad you care."

…

Dave offered to walk her home but she nicely declined. She wanted to clear her mind a little bit. She was glad he came with her. He always kept her entertained by his jokes or his dance moves.

She didn't ask Clare to come with her because Clare deserved to have some fun with Eli. She needed to see that other boys were interested in her. Alli was happy her friend was enjoying herself. Alli herself was finding happiness as….

"What the hell.."She screamed as she was being pulled in the alley.

"Come on Alli." Drew put his hand over her mouth.

He had been on a mission to get her back….just because he could….just because he knew he could do it.

"Get away from me." Alli pushed him off of her trying to walk away.

"Come back here." He forcefully slapped her…pulling her…..pinning her to the brick wall. Never before had she been scared like this….adrenaline rushing. She didn't want to suffer under this violation again. His hands began to roam over her body. He began to kiss and lick her neck. She tried to scream.

"I missed you so much…" He said.

"Please don't." She cried as he kissed her lips.

Unbeknownst to them, Kurt was walking out of the local bodega. By the grace of God, he noticed the two.

"Alli…" Kurt screamed as she kneed Drew in the groin.

"Are you ok." He hugged the tiny girl as he handcuffed the boy.

"Look..this is a misunderstanding. Me and my girlfriend…"

"Cut the bullshit…doesn't look like she feels that way. You certainly picked the wrong girl to mess with." Kurt sat him in the police car.

"But…but." Drew sat there thinking about how he was going to explain this to his parents.

….

"Here honey put this on it." Ms. Edwards handed her the icepack.

"If you don't want…." Clare began.

"No…I do…I'm tired of staying quiet…I'm ready to talk." She wiped her eyes. "He cornered me. I was so scared. I didn't want to go through that again." She cried in Clare's arms.

"Well…Drew's family picked him up at the station. He was given community service. They had a hell of a good lawyer."

"…at least he got something…but you will be safe at school. Kurt told Simpson everything.

…..

"How could you be so stupid, Drew?" His mother berated him driving to the house.

"I wasn't thinking, Mom." He said.

"I thought she would give in." He stated.

"You better be glad she didn't press charges…if I were her I would have. How could you do that to her? I thought I taught you better." She pulled off on the side of the road so she wouldn't wreck.

"You did…it's just."

"Let me guess Andrew…the team…they have bucked your head into thinking rules don't apply to you….Poor Alli. You are going to stay away from her. Don't even look in her direction. When we get home your life is going be like prison…no phone…no tv…no team."

"Mom you can't take that away from me!" He said.

"You should of thought about that before you tried to force yourself on that girl…don't worry. This will give you time to reevaluate everything in life…including Bianca's baby you tried to hide to from me….welcome to hell."

"It's not mine." He said.

"Bullshit…you know it is. Time to face responsibility….by the way have fun telling your dad."


	11. Runaway

**Runaway**

**Chapter 11**

**Kanye West**

…..

"Why do you feel guilty Eli?" Clare asked as they sat outside the library. Alli was still on her mind and the fact that Drew still got to walk around the school as king made her blood boil.

"I pushed you….I know I did." He sadly apologized. They didn't go that far but he thought…

"No…no…" She laughed kissing him. "Yesterday was good…nice. Something just happened to Alli yesterday and we're pretty much shaken up about it.

"Like what?" Eli asked putting his arm around her.

"…I can't say now….not that I don't want to…I don't think she wants people to know it…besides I don't want you take it in your hands. Simpson says he has it under control…so let's just trust him."

"…Ok…I'll take that answer for now…if she needs anything…"

"I know…" She smiled.

…

"Alli….what happened…your eye?" Dave touched the cut underneath her eye. She knew she should have put concealer on it, but she couldn't think straight at the moment. She was still scared.

"Don't touch me, please." She said softly. Dave didn't know what the meaning of this was but he was going to find out.

"Alli..look at me…look at me." He touched her shoulders. "You know I would never hurt you." She nodded looking into his eyes.

"Who did this to you?"

"Doesn't matter." She stopped his hand from touching her scar again as she headed to the bathroom to apply the concealer. Plus, he wouldn't go inside. She didn't want him to pry.

"No…you can't run away from me." He knew who did this to her. He was waiting on her to tell him.

"Maybe I deserved it."

"Are you serious, Alliah? Listen to yourself. No woman ever deserves to be hit by a man…Ever. Don't let him take everything you have worked so hard to get back. I've seen you smile and laugh and…"

"What if I had deserved it?"

"You didn't…..trust me." He kissed her quickly...just to show her that he was there for her. It wasn't passionate, but she enjoyed the warmth.

"I'm sorry. I got caught up in the moment. Don't worry about Drew." He walked off quickly. She just stared at him as he left. Why did he leave? She liked it.

…..

Drew walked around on edge. He only pretended as if nothing happened. He wasn't one to let people sweat. Everyone would know soon. He had loss his position on the football team. Coach Armstrong would announce it today in practice. He was so stupid if he could rewind time, he would have never done what he had done.

"Well…well..look how the mighty have fallen?" Bianca said smirking.

"You bitch. How could you tell my….."

"Because she has a right to know. This is her grandchild I'm carrying."

"You slut you don't even know…"

"Please Drew…its yours…welcome to my world. For the next 18 years, be prepared." Bianca walked off. Tears stained her face as she walked in the bathroom. Why of all people did Alli have to be there too.

"Bet your doing kick flips and cartwheels…." Bianca wiped her eyes.

"Bianca please…as if I care about you and Drew's child. Please…the world does not revolve around you two. Good luck….because you're going to need it."

…

"Adam over the last month…or so…we…you…ummm me have gotten closer." She stammered as she walked down the hallway with him.

"Yeah." He said. "Dudes keep asking me how I got you." He flirted. It was rewarded with a blush.

"Because you are honest and not harsh…and funny." She played with her hair.

"I like being around you too." Adam smiled. "Did you want to hang out sometime…I mean…rather than school boundaries."

"Yeah…I would really like that."

…..

"So what did Simpson say?" Clare and Jenna met Alli outside of the office.

"Not to worry about Drew…blah…blah..blah..safety precautions…." She rolled her eyes. "I can't wait for this to be all over. I want to fast forward just to get pass this point."

"Kurt says he's got the situation under control." Clare reassured but her friend wasn't paying attention, she was looking at Dave.

"Earth to Alliah." Jenna waved her hand in front of her face.

"Yeah…I'm here."

"Tell me you were not looking at that loser again…you like him?" Jenna said pompously.

"So…what if I do? Is it so wrong to like someone for who they than what they are? No wonder why K.C. didn't want you." Clare's mouth dropped open at Alli's statement.

"Maybe if you had a new way of thinking….people would like you." Clare finished as she and Alli walked off.

…..

The guys huddled in the locker room. They could tell Armstrong was pissed off about something. Owen and K.C. figured Drew was late…probably talking to a teacher about his grades…the usual.

"Men…Degrassi has a no tolerance for violence….especially against women or girls." Armstrong bantered.

"I understand that but what does this have to do with us?" K.C. asked.

"Our teammate….Drew…showed indecent behavior the other day…now he has to suffer the consequences." The team didn't say a word. "Let this be a lesson to you all."

"How do you know he did that? It could just be a girl who cried wolf. It wouldn't be the first time. We need Drew on this team." Owen stated.

"Trust me Owen. It happened." Armstrong said as Owen huffed under his breath.

"I know we need this victory but actions have consequences." Armstrong preached.

…

"Eli, I'm so angry right now. How could he try to force himself on her?" Dave asked.

"I know you want to get back at him….if it was Clare I would do the same thing….but I've learned from personal experience that when you take things into your own hands…it never works out." Eli calmed him down as Adam agreed.

"You're right…."

"Anyways he's not getting off scot-free…he has to deal with Bianca's baby." Adam said.

"It's not the same." Dave reclaimed.

…

"I am so frickin nervous." Adam said to Kurt and Eli as he got ready for his. The two were acting as if he were getting ready for prom.

"I bet." Eli smirked looking through his brother's closet.

"You should wear this." Kurt chose a top that looked like it came from the eighties.

"Wow…your age is really showing now." Adam and Eli laughed.

"Whatever." Kurt said. "you guys don't know what cool is….Did I use the term right?"

"….unfortunately….yes." Eli smiled. Over the course of time, they had become a family. They loved him as a father and he their sons.

"Ok…I'm dressed." Adam walked out wearing a nice shirt with slacks.

"Is your chest binded?" Kurt asked.

"Yes…do you think I should tell her?"

"Only if you want to…see how the date goes." Eli said.

…..

As Jenna walked out from practice, she was surprised to see 3 football players around Simpson's car. Hiding behind the building she watched as they keyed his car. It wasn't fair to him…he was doing his job. Drew deserved everything he got. She couldn't stop them…what if they hurt her. Owen wasn't known for being friendly to others.

Holding her breath, she watched as they walked over to Drew's car keying it. She thought they were his friends. Maybe they were teaching him a lesson. Wait…this doesn't make sense. Their actions are contradicting each other.

That's right! Armstrong and Drew drove the same car. These guys were so dumb…they didn't even read the license plate. She watched as they drove off. She needed a good laugh because this was priceless.

…..

Adam's mouth dropped when he saw Fiona walk through the doors wearing a halter ruffled dress. She looked gorgeous with straightened hair. Fiona couldn't stop looking at Adam either. She was so nervous about this date. She had never been on one before. She never allowed anyone to get close to her like this.

Walking to the table, he pulled out her seat for her. She gave him a bright smile hoping to spend three hours with an incredible, sensitive guy.


	12. The Scientist

**The Scientist**

**Chapter 12**

**Coldplay**

…

"Adam, are you enjoying yourself?" Fiona asked looking at his forlorn expression. He was contemplating.

"Yeah." He smiled sadly. This date was going so well. He was kind of hoping it would be a disaster…so he would have an excuse not to tell her. How was he going to say it?

After they ate, they decided to walk on the beach. They smiled as they took their shoes off, letting the white sand get between their toes. Putting his arm around her, he smiled to himself as she allowed him to get close to her.

"The thing about secrets is that you never know the outcome when it is told." He stopped sitting down. Fiona followed putting her head on his shoulder.

"I want to breakaway sometimes…" He said leaning his head on hers.

"In my mind…I envision this place where I am who I pretend to be….Fiona…you are going to hate me after I say this…..I just know it….I am a girl…I'm sorry…I think I wasted your time." He waited for a reaction…a slap..a scream…nothing came.

"….Adam…I…."

"It's ok…I understand."

"No….I mean….I mean…I don't care. I mean people always wander the earth asking themselves if they will find a person who gets them or cares for them unconditionally. I want that regardless."

"Are you sure?" Adam smiled happy to hear her response.

"Yeah."

…

Drew was furious walking through the halls. Everyone knew why. They were laughing at his expense. He already was the laughing stock of the school. He was done with the humiliation. He wanted payback. He knew Bianca didn't do it…it had to be Turner.

"Did you get a thrill?" Drew closed the boy's locker.

"I don't know what you are talking about." Dave answered honestly. Alli walked up to them wondering what the two were talking about.

"My car…"

"O I heard about it…I wish I could say I did do it…but I didn't…kudos to whoever did though." Drew became more infuriated with Dave's nonchalantness as he opened his locker again..

"Good job Bhandari…you put your man up to this." Drew said.

"What….Drew no one cares about your car. I don't even know what you're talking about." Alli said as she and Dave tried to ignore him.

"Look I'm sorry for how I screwed you over…and I understand Dave was trying to defend your honor…" He tried another approach to get them to confess.

"You know how I defend her honor…I treat her with respect and I don't parade her around like a trophy…." He shut his locker walking away.

"….no I didn't …"

"Dave I believe you." Alli said. "I wanted to talk about that kiss."

"O….you know what….I got a class I got to catch." Dave avoided the question. Was it out of sympathy?

…

Jenna was on her way to class. She didn't notice she was being followed by two football players until she felt herself being pulled aside.

"You thought we didn't see." The boy said with a deep voice. "…we did. You better keep your mouth closed…or else." Jenna quivered as they got in her face. The other one began to play in her hair.

"Or else we will…."

"Is there a problem boys?" A boy asked. She always noticed him around but never had any conversation with him. He lived in her neighborhood. Word around school was he mixed martial artist. Never before had she been so happy to see a person.

"No man…no..we were just having a conversation. Remember Jenna…" They let the threat linger in the air.

"Thank you….." Her eyes cascaded with fear.

"No problem…I can't stand to see guys try to cower girls…its pathetic. They didn't hurt you did they." She shook her head.

"You must know something." She didn't answer.

"Once again…thanks…."

"Fitz..Mark Fitzgerald."

"O yeah…you live a couple of houses away from me." She rushed to class.

…..

"So you got Fiona Coyne….nice job." Dave congratulated him.

"….Yeah…I thought she was going to freak out but surprisingly, she didn't care…life's too short to be scared." He emphasized.

"Clare told you, didn't she?" Dave said irritated as they sat at the picnic tables.

"Yeah….go for it Dave."

"I just don't know."

….

As K.C. walked to the principal's office, his heart dropped…the hairs on the back of his neck came up. Why was he here? Who was he looking for? He noticed the shady guy talk to the secretary. This wasn't good….Harvey was looking for blood.

The secretary looked at the shady figure standing behind the desk….unkempt hair….dingy t-shirt…with a menacing scar underneath his cheek.

"Can I help you, sir?" She hid her fear. K.C. overheard the conversation trying to stay out of sight.

Harvey….Eli and his old drug dealer.

"Yes…I was wondering if you can help me find Eli Goldsworthy."

"I'm sorry sir. We can not disclose this information to any patron without the consent of their guardian."

"I'm an old friend." He said with charm.

"It's our policy sir." She stated waiting for him to leave. Taking the direct answer, he left.

….

"What's the matter?" Clare asked Eli. "You haven't been the same lately."

"They found Tom's body in an old abandoned warehouse…Kurt said it was a drug deal that went bad…or in tom's case…fatal."

"At least you are safe." Clare stated.

"That's it…I am no supposed to feel at ease about it. A man just died….lost his life and I'm here rejoicing. I'm a monster….I have no respect for creation." He exclaimed holding her hand.

"Eli..no…no….it's ok to feel like that. He made your lives living hell. You deserve this peace."

"It just seems too good to be true. I know I seem paranoid but I just got a feeling Clare." He looked at her.

"Whatever happens…I'll be there…always…if you want me to be."

"…promise." He kissed her.

…

"Drew you are gonna kill us." Owen said to his teammate as they sat in the gym.

"Go ahead…my life sucks so far." He said waiting on Bianca to drive her to her appointment.

"We scraped your car…on accident."

"Are you serious…why would you do that?" De bellowed.

"We thought it was Armstrong's…he's been asking the team if anyone knows about it….K.C…. he didn't rat us out." Owen admitted. He felt bad and dumb as hell.

"You know what…this may work out?

"What do you mean…I don't follow?"

"Why don't we play a mind trick on Dave Turner."

…

"Jenna...you got to tell." Clare said. Both her and Alli were beginning to let her inside their circle again. They could see she was trying to change her ways.

"I cant. They'll hurt me. Owen already tried to once. That's why I keep my distance. You wouldn't understand." She exclaimed.

"….but I would. You can't walk around in fear. They are only going to feed off of it….why didn't you tell anyone else about this." Alli said with compassion

"…..No one would believe me…I'm the biggest flirt…I wasn't going to embarrass myself..the only thing that stopped him last night was when he heard the janitor coming."

"What about today…what stopped him."

"That Fitz guy…" She saw him sit at the lunch table with his friends.

…

"Harvey's back!" Adam and Eli turned pale. They thought he was dead. How did they find them.

Adam was worried. He didn't want Eli end up like Tom.

K.C. was right…you cant runaway from the past. It always comes back to haunt you. Usually he tried to deal with problems on his own and push others away. But he couldn't do that this time. He had too much in stake…Clare….Kurt…Adam…even K.C.

The two used to be close…until now…until Clare. They were just kids experimenting with pills. Being products of their environment…they saw it every day. They wanted to forget their misery. Stealing from cars was not enough.

"I knew you were wrong for Clare…and the fact that she doesn't see it is even more wrong." K.C. ranted.

"First can you two put down you pety differences for 1 second. This isn't about Clare. This is about a notorious man looking for Eli. If he knows where Eli is…then he knows where you are K.C. I'm calling Kurt." He walked off.

"He wants us to pay back what we owe." Eli finally said remembering how they stole pills from him.

"I….know….you tried telling me it was a bad idea." K.C. said thinking back to how he use to be.

…..

"I didn't do it Simpson." Dave sat in the office.

"It's ok to be upset. You think it's unfair that Drew walks around unpunished…but he is punished…trust me. Just admit it and I will give you a 2 day suspension."

"I can't admit to doing something I didn't do. I am telling you the truth. I have never lied to you or anyone….why start now?

"Ok…." He let the boy go. Standing up Dave said one last thing.

"I didn't do it…but I can honestly say that I am glad someone did. I wanted to hurt him badly…but Eli stopped me."

"Thank you for that. I appreciate it."

….

"Hey pom poms." Fitz saw the blonde walk out from practice. He had just gotten out of detention. He wanted to ask her about that scene earlier. He didn't like seeing her scared. He didn't like any girl being scared .

He had heard stories about Owen and his abrasive ways. What he couldn't get, he would take. What kind of man would do that?

"Go away Fitz…" She tried to open her car door but he stopped her.

"I was just trying to…"

"Let me guess…you want me to tell you what I know. You don't know Owen like I do. He's capable of…."

"…Jenna you have to tell Simpson what he did to you." It was always different on the outside looking in. People always say what a person should do, but when it is them it is a whole 'nother story. Fitz saw tears cascade her eyes.

He saw this girl who always walked the halls graciously turn into a scared little girl. He didn't know why but he didn't like it. His dad use to beat him and mother without end before he died of a heart attack. Defenseless…helpless…were all he could feel. She felt that too. She just couldn't admit.

"….nothing…ok….he just doesn't want me to tell Simpson I saw them key hits and Drew's car."

"No…it's more to it than that. It's just a car. Owen just wanted to use his power and control over you."

"Thanks for today again but…you don't owe me anything. We are not friends. I can handle it on my own." She got in her car and drove off.

….

"Eli I'm sorry, but its best for Clare." Kurt said Eli hit the wall.

"I'm the first person to know that. I wouldn't forgive myself if anything happened to her. I'm angry with myself. Now she has to suffer. What if…Harvey tries to….

"We won't let that happen son." Kurt stated. "We are looking for him…we found tom…and we can find him."

"We can't think like that." Adam said as he sat on the couch. "Ms. Edwards knows. We all know she is going to protect Clare with all of her might."


	13. Unthinkable

**Unthinkable**

**Chapter 13**

**Alicia Keyes**

***Thanks so much for the positive reviews and adding me to the various "Fave" lists. :)**

**BTW: I just saw the new promo for Degrassi: Now or Never on youtube. It was amazing!**

…**..**

Alli was anxious waiting for the door to open. She hoped he was there. She wanted to shed light on her feelings for him. He thought he was being pushy but it was the contrary. He was always looking out for her best interest.

"Hello" Alli knocked on the door as Dave's dad opened it.

"Hello miss." The older man welcomed her.

"I'm Alli….Is Dave here?"

"Yes….he is. It's good to see he has friends." The man smiled. Dave heard the conversation from the other room. Did his dad have to say that?

"I got it." His father walked off into the other room. "Don't pay any attention to him." Dave said.

"He seems nice."

"…he is." They stood there for a couple of minutes with awkwardness in the air. Alli tried to grab his hand but Dave backed up.

"Alli…this isn't healthy for you…my feelings towards you. You don't need a relationship now…I want you to get better."

"Dave…everyone is telling me what I want or what I should want…not what I need. After my family's death, I didn't think I would ever see life again. Every day I threw up was a constant reminder of them leaving me…of Drew belittling me…of Johnny hating me. The crazy part about it is that I thought I deserved it. I thought I deserved to used…and taken advantage of in any way possible. I let them take a piece of me I thought I could never take back…"

"What do you want now then?" Dave approached her as her heart began to beat rapidly.

"I want to come inside…I want…you. I need to surround myself with people who are positive. You have this positive light to you. I see so much sincerity in your eyes…selflessness. I never had that before." She put her hair behind her ears as Dave moved his arms around her waist.

"Can I kiss you?" His thumb touched her lips. Alli could only nod as she waited for his lips to meet hers.

…..

"Fitz…how's it going? How are the tournaments lately?" Simpson asked the boy as he walked in his office.

"Good…"

"Can I help you?"

"…yeah you can. I know who keyed the cars."

"I'm all ears."

"Owen and a few members of the football….they've been harassing a student about staying quiet. I overheard it."

"Ok…we will get right on it…thank you."

…

Gasping for air, the two parted. Dave was happy to see her smile again.

"You were saying awhile ago that I would have never talked to you if you never gave me that sandwich…but that's life…people meet and become friends with others in unsuspecting ways. I'm glad I met you." She said waiting for Dave to respond. He did not. He simply grabbed her hand taking her inside with him.

Laying on the couch together, he could tell she still had questions.

"What are you thinking about?" He played in her hair as she enjoyed the sensation.

"Bianca…I mean…it could have been me who got pregnant. Drew was so evil. He could have poked a hole in the condom intentionally without me knowing it."

"I would like to think it's because….it wasn't meant for you….just be grateful it's not you. You didn't deserve to bring a child in the world without the love of both its parents….not that Bianca and Drew are so in love…just that she was so conniving. It caught back up with her."

…

"How could you do that?" Jenna hit Fitz's chest. Owen was going to found out. He was going to come for her.

"No he's not. Simpson is going to make sure of that." Fitz tried to reassure her.

Mark thought he was doing the right thing. He took it into his hands. He wanted them to come after him…not her. Fitz admired Jenna every morning when she came from her house. He didn't know why he did. Though girls always flocked to him…he never paid much attention to them. He liked a challenge.

"Yeah…on school property…not outside of that. Why did I tell you?" Jenna balled her fist.

"It doesn't matter why…you did. ..and I did something about it." He stated.

"I can't stand men like you…who only see women as damsels in distress. I was taking care of it." She folded her arms in her driveway. She tried to keep her voice down so here grandmother wouldn't walk outside.

"By avoiding them…keeping quiet…letting them have the upper hand." She rolled her eyes at him knowing he was right.

"By the way, Middleton…I only helped because you needed it. Get over yourself and stop seeing yourself as pretentious." He walked away.

…..

"_Clare please…don't touch me like this. Every time you get near me…I get weak" He stuttered as he felt her lips on his neck._

"_Why I thought you liked it." She pushed him against the wall unbuttoning his shirt. Touching his chest, his muscles started to tighten as he held his breath. Eli was not use to seeing her so sure in a situation like this._

"_You don't like what I'm doing to you?" she asked seductively as she kissed his shoulders and licked his chest…moving down to his zipper. Looking up in his eyes, she pulled down his pants…then his…._

"Eli" Adam woke him up out of spite.

"What was that for?" He asked getting out of his bed looking out of his window to find two cop cars outside.

"You were screaming Clare's name…it was pretty obvious what you were dreaming about." Eli blushed.

…..

Alli wasn't use to being treated like this. She wasn't use to being kissed like this. Dave didn't push her…or selfishly push his tongue in her mouth like the others. He was chaste. He let her control. He had waited for this moment for a while now. He wasn't going to mess it up.

…..

Clare hated being away from Eli. She hated how she had to stay away from the one person in her life that she had truly loved.

She made this realization the minute her heart broke after her mother told her about his ex-drug dealer. She tried to convince herself that he was bad…but she can't judge him for his past. She knew he had changed…but she had to see him. She didn't care.

…

She had been scared in many ways, but this was different than the others. She was scared in a good way. Kissing her so deeply, she broke free from his grasp. Dave looked confused as she began to pull her shirt off.

"No…don't." Dave stopped her kissing her forehead.

"Why not..you don't want me?" She asked sadly.

"Yes…I do…but more than just this way. You are so used to being used for sex…."

"But how can I show you my gratitude?" She asked innocently. This hurt his heart because it showed him that she really didn't know any other option too. She wasn't used to being taken care of the right way.

"…we take it one day at a time. We open up to one another…no secrets…no pain…we grow together." He kissed her wrapping her in his embrace.

….

Why did people always seem to flock to Clare and Alli. It was a trait she was jealous of. They had all the friends…perfect grades. She just wanted to be special in her own way. She wanted for people to see her out of the crowd. Would she ever be seen?

She drowned herself in her popularity to hide the insecurities she had. It seemed that people admired her…boys wanted her. Then it turned into a damaging thing. Boys began to want for one thing..girls only wanted to be her friend because they thought they should.

Everyone was right about her…she was arrogant…and she didn't know why. Why was she mad at Mark? He did a good thing today…but what about monday….what would that bring…the entire school body hating her because of the football team's connections.

…..

"Alli…" he began to rub her back softly…" How did it feel when you….were with Drew…and Johnny?" Alli raised herself from his arms. This was a personal question but she knew he would not use it against her.

"It felt good…at times…but other times…it felt overbearing. Afterwards I would just lay there. In an odd way I felt loved." She noticed he began to shake.

"What's wrong" She touched his cheek. Dave knew this was the time to tell her…what happened to him…why his mom was in jail. Why he really had a hard time opening up to people. She wouldn't see him as a man anymore if he told her…but he said it himself….no secrets. He began to cry.

"Please tell me." Alli said. "I won't leave you."

"I was….I was….I was molested…by mother's friend." Alli was not expecting this confession. O my gosh


	14. Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You

**Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You**

**Chapter 14**

**Lauryn Hill**

…**.**

Dave turned around on the couch…refusing to look at her face. Why did he mistuse her like this…but he couldn't help it. He had to be near her…close to her like this.

Alli cried but not out of shame…out of anguish…pain for him. How one person could inflict that kind of pain on someone without thinking made her cry even more. Making him turn around to see her, he saw her tears. As if seeing her cry wasn't hard enough to look at.

"Dave…." Alli could only muster the word as she was in his arms again. Dave overwhelmed by this…held onto her. She didn't leave.

"….that's why I stay away people…but for some reason…I don't want to stay away from you."

….

"Clare, you are not supposed to be here." Eli tried to talk some sense in to her as she walked in the door.

"I don't care…I have to be near you." She nearly jumped into his arms. Eli tried to distance himself from her too but he couldn't let go of her lips. He kissed her feverishly. Running his hands through her hair, he began to pull her shirt up. Thank God Adam was downstairs.

"Wait…" Clare broke the kiss.

"Sorry…how did you…."

"I walked….well snuck away. Adam's on the couch sleep." Eli smiled recapturing her lips. He didn't care about Harvey…but he should have…but at this moment…it didn't matter to him like Clare.

…

"He was a good friend of my mother's…he would take me on trips….my parents were going through a rough time…financial problems…I thought …..Clark was my friend. He taught me how to play basketball…gave me attention when my parents didn't."

Alli held him as he continued. He laid his head on her chest as she rubbed his head.

"…soon he began to touch me…making me feel uncomfortable…but I looked over it. I figured if I told my parents they would only ignore me…then…one day…I was taking a shower…he came in on me." Tears fell as he held her tightly.

"It went on for weeks…months. How could I let him do that to me?"

"Because David…you were young. He brainwashed you…took advantage of you. He preyed on you."

"My mom found out….one day….she noticed the way he touched me…talked to me."

"That's why she's in jail..isn't it? She tried killing him. She's very courageous and strong…she loves her child." Alli said hoping he knew that she wasn't going to leave his side. He nodded.

"That's why I can't write her back. It's my entire fault. I was trying to shield them from this."

…..

Eli laid her down on the bed as he began to make her feel good. She was nervous he could tell as she began to shake. Grabbing her wrist he raised them above her head lacing their fingers together. Taking his lips away from hers, he looked into his eyes.

"Clare…you have no idea what you do to me." He watched her eyes glaze with lust. She wanted him as much as he wanted her.

Clare should have felt self-conscious as he looked at her like this but she didn't care.

….

"Dave…your mom was doing what any mother would do to protect her child. It was her responsibility…she loves you." Dave listened to her words as he got up from the couch pacing back and forth. He tried to keep his voice down not to wake up his dad who had to get up for the graveyard shift.

"Yeah…look at what that love did to her….the nightmares I have of her…Clark…"

"Why didn't you tell me any of this? For so long you have carried so much. Just like I have…you have to let it go too."

"My dad does help…I've been to professionals…I practice the techniques…but I have to be strong…."

"For who?" Alli asked folding her arms. She was upset for disregarding himself like this…she should have been there for him.

"…For you…who else…You're getting better every day." He said.

"But you…I want to help you too…"She walked up to him hugging him.

…..

"Clare I can't do this to you." He kissed her hand.

"Why not? I know you want to." She began rubbing her fingers along his back. Eli closed his eyes trying to keep his mind clear as he found the strength to move her arms away from him.

"Stop pushing me away from you….I want this as much as you do." She persisted lifting up his shirt kissing him…once…twice. She shoved her tongue in his mouth bringing him to her. Eli found his hands unhooking her bra.

"No…no….Clare….chill" He said as she looked disappointed.

"….." She didn't know what came over her. All she could do was touch Eli. Little by little he was giving into her. With strength he didn't know he had, he jumped off the bed.

"You're too good…too pure….I can't take that away from you…not yet…not now. I wouldn't forgive myself." He put his shirt back on. Looking at him put his shirt back on, she loved how his body was built. The scars didn't mar his body at all. She began to think of all the ways she would touch them.

When did she become like this. She never thought of K.C. in such an extreme way.

"You're not even listening to me." Eli said.

"…..I was…you act as if I'm not capable of making this decision….you….me….together." Clare said putting her bra back on…at this sight, Eli wanted to jump on her again and show her how good it felt to be touched.

"I know you do…I do too…but do you really want to lose your virginity right now…with Adam downstairs and Kurt being able to walk in this room anytime. I want your first time to be special…romantic.

…..

"You are helping me…in more ways than one." He kissed her nose. Alli jumped when she heard a noise from the other room.

"My dad….he's getting ready for work." Dave noticed it was dark outside. "You want to stay the night?"

"I mean…yeah…Clare's mom won't get back till the morning." She smiled as they went to his room. She sat on the bed as she waited for him to finish rummaging thru his Chester drawer.

"I need to wash…I only have this to wear….top or bottom?" He asked as he watched Alli's eyes bug open.

"Just a joke…he took the bottoms going to the bathroom.

…..

"I want to give you something." Eli left the bed to get his tablet. Returning, Clare rested once again on his chest as he began flipping pages to the drawing of his choosing.

Clare was astonished as he showed her the drawing. It was her…she was depicted so flawlessly.

"Is this how you really see me Eli?" Clare touched the delicate piece of paper as  
>Eli smiled at her reaction.<p>

"Yes…your eyes shine so brightly." He took the picture from her hand returning to her neck.

"I love you Eli…" She faintly said as his teeth began to gently nibble…wait did she just say what he think he just said.

"I didn't mean to….I just." She tried to take the words.

"Clare….Clare….I don't know…how to say this…I mean I've been from one place to the other…then I come here and I find you…you've turned my world upside down with just your eyes…your smile. I think of you constantly…as long as your with me…I know I'm all right….I love you too," He smiled as Clare cried tears of joy.

…

When Dave came from the bathroom, he saw ally had changed into his shirt. He realized it was a bad idea to give her that. All he could do was look at her legs as she tried to pull it down a little bit.

Alli looked at him as he pulled the covers down, inviting her inside with him. Getting inside, she didn't know what to do.

"If this is making you uncomfortable…I can sleep on the couch." He said…hoping she would take him on his offer.

"I…I…don't know what I want."Alli said. "I'm scared….I'm scared that this will be over once I open my eyes in the morning."

"That's how I feel too." Dave stated scooting closer to her. Taking the hint, Alli let him envelop her in his arms ready to dream a good dream.

…


	15. Shattered

**Shattered**

**Chapter 15**

**O.A.R.**

**….**

Owen…was the only thing on Fitz's mind. He didn't get how one boy could get a thrill from mentally torturing a girl….cornering her…..toying with her. He remembered the look in her eyes as the boy had her back against the wall. He turned the deviant queen bee into a cowering little girl. All the thoughts running into his mind…he couldn't sleep. Going into his garage, he put on his boxing equipment….pretending to punch Owen….his father. Especially his father.

For all the times he made his mother hurt….no matter how bad the fights got…she would always take him back. It never changed…until he died. Can you imagine sitting at a funeral….overwhelmed with joy…that the man that helped bring you into this world couldn't come back. He cried….he cried tears of joy…..that his mother could now focus on herself…and begin to love herself…..

Maybe that was why Jenna carried herself the way she did. Maybe she didn't love herself enough. That was why she relied on her body and looks to carry her through life.

"Ughhh…" He angrily punched the bag as he sat down drinking his water. Why did he care about her anyway? She was too conceited and thought the world revolved around her. Never would she have to worry about the real world. She would soon be a trophy wife after she graduated college.

…

"Dave" Alli's heart went out to him as she tried to wake him up from his nightmare.

"No…no…" Dave said tears falling from his eyes as he tried to get away from Clark. But he always caught him…hurt him…made him do things he would never forget.

"I'm here. I won't let him hurt you." She whispered in his ear as he hung onto her….opening his eyes.

"I….I…." He sat up avoiding her concerned eyes. "I knew I should have slept on the couch."

"Dave…." She touched his face making him look at her. "It's nothing to be ashamed of…he's gone now. He can't hurt you."

"…but he is here with me sometimes. I carry him with me. I told you to stay away why didn't you." He got up pacing back and forth.

Alli stared at him as he asked the question again as she got out of his bed.

"Dave…."she cupped his face with both hands not saying a word…just looking in his eyes…..and he hugged her….she wouldn't let him go…

…..

Jenna had a restless night….every night was restless…because she replayed her life over and over…why did her parents abandon…leave her to her grandmother. She wasn't good enough….but at school she was.

The queen bee no one disagreed with….everyone was afraid of. But inside she was scared. She was scared that they would know the real her…the real insecure girl….the one no one wanted to be around. Every night she cried herself to sleep.

Tears of wishing. Wishing her parents would come back to her. Wishing she was once innocent again. Wishing she was a different person.

Sitting up, she had to take a walk…..

…

Eli watched Clare as she slept on his chest. He kept asking himself…what it was about her. Why did he want to hold her like this….protect her…from everything. He was glad that she didn't suffer a life like he did….people like Harvey and Tom who took pleasure in destroying people.

She was so beautiful…and she was right here in his arms.

"You were watching me sleep?" Clare smiled as she opened her eyes.

"….yeah…." He said holding her securely into him.

"Don't worry….Kurt is going to find him." She touched his cheek.

"I know…." He said.

….

Jenna looked at the night sky as she walked. The stars shined so brightly..she wished she was like them…carefree. Fitz was right. She was pretentious…but what else could she be.

Letting your guard down isn't so easy. She didn't want others to see her so weak. She had to be strong because she was the only one she could depend on.

She loved her grandmother with all of her heart…but even she was getting old. What would she do when she left her? How could she handle it? How could she deal?

Walking past a couple of houses…she heard noise coming from a garage….Mark of course practicing. She was sure his neighbors complained. Looking at him, she blushed. His body was remarkable…his abs were….

"Come to scrutinize me Middleton…." Mark stopped punching the bag.

"No….." She was embarrassed. "I….I….I just wanted to say that you were right." She shrugged as she walked up to him looking around at the various equipment.

"Wow the mighty has fallen…." He smirked noticing how her golden locks fell. Where did that come from.

"I'll just go then…." She said awkwardly. This is why she hated showing her emotions. She didn't know how to.

"No….stay…." He handed her a water bottle. "Let's talk."

….

"Adam I miss you." Fiona said. Adam was so glad Skype was created. It wasn't the same as having her close to him but it did help.

"Me too….are you still having nightmares…."he asked wishing he was holding her.

"not as much…I jus wish I had the courage to talk to Declan…tell him that I love him. He was always there for me and the moment I needed to prove myself…I ran."

"Fear is natural…" Adam stated seeing her grey eyes lose their light.

"Yeah…you are right…thanks for being here for me. I l…..I'lll talk to you later." She said hurriedly.

"Do you really have to?"Adam asked scared that he said something wrong.

"No….it's me…..it's always me. I'm just…..unstable ok."

"No….you are the most beautiful girl I ever met." He said smiling seeing her blush.

…

"You're cold." Mark observed rubbing her arms as she flinched."I'm sorry. I didn't mean to….let me get you a blanket." He began to rummage. Jenna didn't mean to push him away. Why was she the way she was.

"Thank you…" She gladly excepted looking at his chest.

"I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable." He put his shirt back on…noticing she was still blushing.

No you didn't." she sat beside him on the back of his truck. "…"

"Beautiful isn't it…the night sky."

"Yeah." She felt out of place and nervous. For the first time in her life she didn't know what to say because Mark was different…but in a good way.

…

"Dave I'm here…with you" Alli held him as they laid in bed together. His head on her shoulder.

"…but you shouldn't be here with me. I don't deserve you. I don't deserve anybody. He took apart of me…." Dave held on to her.

"No you deserve so much that the world has to offer. I don't deserve you. Everything you have been through and you still reach out to me…you show me that I am not alone." Alli spoke. "Now it is m time to show you." She said as he calmed down.

"You must think im crazy." He gently broke free from her looking into her deep eyes.

"No…."

"I am….i'm being hypocritical. I am telling you to open up to me…for us to become close and I run myself. When I reach that dark place I get like this. I'm sorry."

"Dave…we are both learning and both healing. Take all the time you need because we have all the time in the world. Plus…I owe you for listening to me…going to sessions….and helping me eat. We both need this." They smiled

…

"I just feel selfish….keeping you here with me Clare." Eli said holding her. They cuddled in the bed together.

"You shouldn't. I took it upon myself to come here." She stated happy she told him how she felt. It sounded crazy. It had been almost two months and they felt like this…but it was real. No regret.

"It's just that….just when my life is going so well…something always happens. For once, I get to have a real parent, Adam is finally comfortable in his own skin…I have you….and then Harvey comes back.

"He wont be here to last. I promise you. Kurt and the other officers are amazing at what they do."

"It's not that blue eyes." Clare blushed at the response. "I wouldn't know what to do if anything happened to you guys." He stated.

"You have no worries." She kissed him. "Because I am here to protect you." She smiled.

"…" He could only run his fingers through her hair as she rested on his chest. "I love you."

"I love you too Eli."

…..

Mark awakened at the rising of the sun. it was nothing unusual to him since he trained so early before school, but today was Saturday. He decided to give himself a break. Waking up….he felt a weight on his chest….Jenna.

During their conversation last night the two moved underneath the tree in his front yard. The two must have fallen asleep. He was also surprisingly happy to see her clutching his shirt.

She was obviously having a nightmare. Rubbing her back, she relaxed into his hold…opening her eyes…her vision focused/.

"I slept on you….." She stated nervously.

"No big deal…I didn't mind one bit….." Fitz turned his head blushing.

"I didn't mind either…" She said softly as he looked at her. "I mean…..I should go home."

"I'll walk…."

"No that's ok….its just three houses down." She said suddenly.

"You know you are not as brave as you appear." Fitz said as she began to walk.

"Whatever." She said. This was exactly why she hated letting her guard down. But she was trying to understand how Mark made her do it.


	16. Afterglow

**Afterglow**

**Vanessa Carlton**

**…**

Bianca layed there in her bed rubbing her stomach. A child was inside of her. The sad part was that she still felt alone…more so than ever. Drew made it clear he wanted nothing to do with her or the baby. But a child deserved to have both of it's parents. Because of her ways, her child was going to suffer..and this brought tears to her eyes.

Who knew a baby would make her gain a heart.

She began to cry thinking about bringing her baby into a world where it's father didn't want him. Sure he went to doctor appointments with her…but it was apparent he didn't want to be there. So what should she do….

…..

Alli woke up to hearing Dave taking a shower. Looking around his room, she found her clothes washed and folded. He was such a good guy. Why hadn't she noticed him before Johnny and Drew?

Alli stayed up a little bit longer after Dave fell asleep. She just kept looking at him…admiring his patience and conviction. She remembering how soft his skin was, she smiled. Was she falling in love with him?

As Dave woke up, he smiled seeing how her arm was around him. Kissing her forehead, he began to ease out of the bed…but he couldn't move so much because she kept pulling him towards her. Laughing softly, he whispered sweet nothings in her ear as he began to grab her clothes on the floor.

In the bathroom, Dave forgot his boxers. Putting a towel around waist, he walked outside. His jaw dropped seeing how Alli stared at him. He thought she was sleep. He hoped she didn't think he was trying to pressure her in some way.

"I'm sorry….I'm so sorry. I didn't have my….I thought you were sleep."

"No Dave…it's ok…." She turned her back as she heard him get what he needed. It wasn't a bad view at all finding herself smile.

…..

"Clare Dianne Edwards….get up this instant!" Her mother yelled finding the two sleeping the same bed together.

"Mom…we didn't….we didn't….." Clare tried to explain but her mother was in no mood to listen.

"Do you know how stupid your actions were missy?" She said with alarm. Kurt coming up behind her.

"Kids…we can't stress this enough….." Kurt said. "We want you both safe. We know you two feel strongly about each other….but you have to look at the bigger picture."

"Don't punish him Kurt….please. I came to him….I missed him." Clare said as her mother got angrier.

"Clare I don't know what I am going to do with you." Helen rubbed her head.

…

Who did Mark think he was anyways? To say that smart comment to her. He loved getting a rise out of her…but she oddly liked that he did. He challenged her in an odd way to be…her true self. Talking to him last night went better than she thought it would. The two talked about nothing, but it was ok. She found herself wanting to know more about him.

…

"By the way…Bianca has a check up." Mrs. Torres informed Drew at the table. He only rolled his eyes. Why did the paternity test have to prove he was the father?

Mrs. Torres couldn't understand how her son turned into the sorry excuse for a man. Yes her son was disappointing her every day of every hour. She thought she was teaching him to be responsible, but actuality she was teaching him to run away. He was only a sperm donor.

"I heard you…..as if community service isn't enough…." He said. "Just because Bianca is pregnant doesn't mean….."

"I don't give a damn…you made your bed now you have to lay in it." His father said sternly. "Where did we go wrong? You're mother and I are staying strong on this decision."

"You can't make me…"

"The hell we can't." Mrs. Torres stated.

"You are so sorry Andrew Torres….a sorry excuse for a son and an even sorrier excuse for a father." His mother continued to eat her eggs as Drew excused himself from the table.

…

"….Adam." Fiona hugged him as he met her in the park. When he told his situation, she couldn't say anything. She became scared for his life. All the possibilities rushed through her head if anything happened to him. She had been alone for so long..now she had someone who was there for her. She was not going to lose him.

"I thought you were supposed to keep a low key." She said.

"I snuck away." He smiled.

"Why would you do that? Are you not…" She was caught off guard when his lips met hers…but soon he found her relaxing in the kiss.

"I just had to see you…." He said. "I know it's risky…but I had to make sure….did you cut?"

"No….no….talking to helped….a lot." She said gently as he held her hand.

"My mom….wants to talk to me about it….I have been dodging it for some time now….but I think I'm ready."

"Fi…you are stronger than you think."

"You are too.."

…

K.C. had to take control of this situation himself. Why couldn't the past stay in the past. It was all his fault. Nothing could ever satisfy his urge. He had to think bigger each time. Kurt was helping ..but not quick enough.

He knew Harvey. He saw what he did to others who crossed him. He was only toying with them he couldn't live like this. He had to take matters in his own hand.

…

_You can't protect her too long….Monday she is all mine._

Fitz threw his phone on the floor after reading the text. Owen was sick. It was just a car. He was truly an idiot with an ego problem.

He wished it was just about a car, but in reality…it was about Jenna. Owen liked the girl. And he wouldn't stop until he got her. He wasn't used to girls rejecting him. If they did…he always got his….

"Sweetie." His mother opened his door. "You ok?"

"Yeah….I'm fine mom….are you ok?" He asked as she sat on his bed.

"I am the parent. It is my job to ask " She said admiring her son.

"Mom…..why are some things out of our control?"

"It's not so much about us not having control….what matters is how we are to handle those situations. I know I wasn't a good influence for that…me or your father…"

"I don't blame you mom..I love you.:"

"I blame myself son." She began to cry. "Because I let you see him do that to me. I let him back into my life after knowing how he hurt both of us…without thought. I never apologized.

"I know…I forgive you." He kissed her on her cheek.

"I just want you to enjoy your life…not to worry about me."

"I'm always going to worry…but I will live my life." He said.

…..

"You're hungry…." Dave said as she came from the shower hearing her stomach grumble.

"…." The petite girl nodded. "I didn't throw up. I haven't in while….but sometimes I still want to." She hoped he still wanted her.

"Don't worry…." Dave said making up his bed reaching for something underneath his mattress as he saw Alli help him by picking up his clothes off of the floor.

"Dave…this is ridiculous." She laughed as he walked behind her handing her a box.

"I can't except this…." She said opening the box…she examined the sterling silver necklace with the ballet slippers charm.

"Yes you can….I worked hard so you can have it." He said smiling putting it on her as they sweetly kissed.

"I want to do something for you….." Alli grabbed his hand taking him to the kitchen.

….

"Are you going to help me find him….." K.C. asked Eli. Adam looked worried listening to their phone conversation.

"No…..that's by far the most stupidest….."

"You were always the scariest…..think about Clare think about keeping her safe." K.C. exclaimed.

"This isn't just about her…it effects everyone I've grown to love now…" Eli tried to reason with him…but he was irrational.

"Whatever…" K.C. hung up. He didn't have time for this. He still had connections from guys who lived at the group home. He didn't forget all the tricks of the trade.

….

"These are pancakes my mom made for me….." She said taking out all the ingredients she needed. She blushed as Dave watched her.

"Stop it…." She said tying her hair up.

"Why" he walked over to her gently resting his arms around her waist.

"You just make me feel so beautiful and protected." She stated putting the flour and eggs in the bowl.

"Then I take it I am doing my job." He laughed.

…..

"Clare we are not done talking." The girl could only shrug at her mother's comment. On the ride home, they said nothing. Clare was too afraid her mother would go off. Why is it that parents can never remember what its like to be young.

"I didn't do anything mom. I thought you trusted me." She turned around.

"This has nothing to do with trust Clare. You snuck out of my house…knowing the risk…and to top it off…to be with a guy you just met."

"Mom…it's not like that."

"Okay you've known him for three months. Right now you feel love but you are both so young."

"….mom…its more than just a silly little crush." Clare said wishing she could explain this feeling to her mother.

"I know you two like each other…but just slow down." Clare didn't mean to make her mother scared. Now thinking back, she knew it was dumb. She just couldn't explain it to the woman yet…how she felt about him…because she couldn't even understand it. But she wasn't going to analyze it. She would just trust her heart…like she trusted Eli.

…..

"Eli you know this is serious…" Kurt sat down on his son's bed. He wouldn't know what to do if anything happened to them all. It was his job to protect him. He was tired of them living in fear but he could do nothing about it.

"….I know…I know….I should have done better to keep her away but she is near me, something just…..it feels right….." Eli put his hands on his head. "You don't know how many possibilities run through head as to how I have to make her stay away from me….but it doesn't matter."

"It has to son….it has to….." Kurt simply stated.

"I didn't think Harvey would catch back up with us….me and K.C."

"….weren't thinking….but now, you have to think about all of us. I know this is hard…I do…." Kurt walked out the room.

Eli knew Kurt was right. There was nothing he could do about it.


End file.
